Ah, how easily the names trip off the tongue - Hartlepool, Swindon, Yeovil, Huddersfield, Cheltenham, Crewe - and how familiar they are likely to become. You see, the football clubs of these provincial towns are neither going to be promoted nor relegated from Coca-Cola League One at the end of this season. And, given the dire straits that my beloved Saints now find themselves in after yesterday`s 5-0 hammering by Hull City, it is highly probable that we will be seeing these teams visit St. Mary`s Stadium next season.

I suppose I should mind more than I do. After all, the fall from the Premiership and an FA Cup Final appearance just five years ago has been spectacular. But, invoking a kind of warped sense of self-preservation, I`ve accepted that we are where we are, so que sera, sera.

Interesting places perhaps to go to next season then. Swindon was the home of my maternal grandparents and my dearly departed mother. The last time I went there was for a funeral....and the time before that was another funeral. Swindon has always had a funereal quality about it. Well, it did provide us with Billie Piper, Justin Hayward, Gilbert O`Sullivan and Diana Dors.

And then there`s Cheltenham, where my youngest son lived for some years whilst teaching at a language school there. I always enjoyed going to Cheltenham - very `nice` with its Regency architecture, its racecourse and the bithplace of Gustav Holst.

But perhaps Crewe might provide the most uplifting cultural experience, for it was here that, in the Thomas the Tank Engine episode, "The Flying Kipper," Henry the Green Engine had major repairs carried out such as changing firebox sizes and different boiler shapes.

Maybe relegation won`t be quite so bad after all.