We seem to live in a world where priorities take on different meanings for different people depending on their circumstances.   Woke up this morning feeling fine, with something special on my mind, to quote Herman and his Hermits.  And immediately my senses are invaded and thrown off course by the latest disclosures about an alleged `party` that might or might not have taken place in Downing Street on 18th December last year, when the country was supposed to be in lockdown.

It`s going on a bit - nonstop reports, `analysis,` comment from all parts; perhaps most tellingly from those who lost loved ones to the Pandemic at the same time as the `party` might have been in full swing.  It`s all very troubling and I may not be the only one who is waiting for Prime Minister`s Questions at high noon to see what Boris has to say for himself.  If it`s all true then maybe, just maybe, this might be the beginning of the end for Boris and all his eccentric blustering because what we really need, especially now, is some proper good old fashioned principled, honest leadership.   (There`s a Cabinet member from Southampton who might do nicely?)

But while all this is going on there are, of course, perhaps more pressing matters that should be concerning Parliament - the Covid pandemic, of course, the scandals emerging about the evacuation from Kabul, the threats emerging around Ukraine, the continuing migrant crisis and on and on they go.  And I woke up to the news that England had been dismissed for 147 in the first Test against Australia in Brisbane.

It reminded me that, when besieged by the stresses and strains of fighting the Tory leadership contest back in 1997, John Major took time out to write a Daily Telegraph obituary for his boyhood hero, Denis Compton.  Maybe he had his priorities right after all?

Well, maybe - we shall see.

Having now seen our new Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, making `em roll in the aisles, a worrying thought occurred to me as I was watching his bravura performance at PM Questions in Parliament and his subsequent outbursts.  I wondered if he was in the right line of business.

Now, a certain Michael McIntyre has made a handsome living by revelling in the self-delusion that shouting rather loudly in a posh accent, waving his arms about and shaking his head a lot automatically makes him funny and lovable to his audiences.  And to be fair his captive audiences seem to have been persuaded of his gift for hilarity.

And it seems in these early stages of his Premiership that Boris might also be revelling in a similar form of self delusion by shouting rather loudly in a posh accent, waving his arms about and shaking his head a lot thereby making for a compelling politician on the top of his game.

Time will tell with Boris - he`s got until Halloween to prove whether he can deliver on his promises to his captive audience who need to be persuaded of any gifts he may have for sincerity and competence.

If he can deliver, then there might be some hope for him but sadly I fear they may be two of a kind - admired by the gullible but unconvinced by the doubtful.   Sometimes it`s difficult to differentiate between comedy and politics..and these two are not making it any easier.

JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS ?

There`s a local colloquialism for heavy and persistent rain - it`s called `wazzing.`   And boy is it wazzing today.  It`s also cold and gloomy and it all comes as a bit of a shock after the long, scorchio summer that has now passed us by.

And my mood has not been helped by the events of yesterday.  Firstly and predictably the Saints went to Liverpool and were 3-0 down at half time, thanks to an early own goal of heroic ineptness, a towering header from a Liverpool player who managed to out-jump Saints central defender, 6`6" Jannik Vestergaard and a tap-in by Salah during first half added time.   Saints manager Mark Hughes reckoned that we drew the second half 0-0 to take `a positive` from a disappointing afternoon on Merseyside.   I`m surprised there isn`t an open top bus parade around Southampton this morning to celebrate.

My neighbour must be sick as a parrot, having been over the moon when his beloved Gillingham came from behind to go into a  2-1 lead only to finish up losing 2-4 to table topping Peterborough.  And despite a deficit reducing solo effort from our street`s footy hero Scott ("Buzzin` six-pack") Wagstaff, Wimbledon went down 2-1 away at Accrington, which these days is never an easy place to go to.   And Truro City made the 500-mile round trip to Hereford in an early round of the FA Cup only to draw 0-0 and have to play it all again in an unwanted replay.

In less important issues, the media is full of the Labour Party conference which this week will bore the pants of some of the populace, whilst others will be repelled by some of the `policies` they are about to announce, leaving only the die-hard Corbynistas to enthuse at the prospect of yet another General Election - a classic example of politicians pursuing blind ambition and a lust for power.  Just what we need. 

No wonder I have a feeling of despair this morning, but I hope it`s just one of those days.

A RARE NOTE OF SYMPATHY..

It is indeed most unusual for me to have any sympathy for politicians but today I must make an exception in the case of Ben Wallace, MP, who happens to be the Minister of State for Security and Economic Crime.   And it was he who was put up in front of the television cameras this morning in response to the news coming out of Salisbury that, yet again, two people have been taken critically ill as a result of supposed contact with the nerve agent Novichok.

He appeared on the BBC Breakfast programme around 7.30 this morning and was `interviewed` by Middlesbrough`s answer to Gracie Fields, one Steph McGovern, whilst being looked on by the insufferably smug Naga Munchetty.   The `interview` didn`t go well - the questions were all the usual BBC aggressive assumptions and Ben Wallace was hardly given time to answer before being interrupted but to be fair he managed to keep his composure and deliver what appeared to be a measured, considered response to the event in Wiltshire.

Then on to Sky News, coming from outside the police cordon around the house of the couple who had been the victims of this dreadful happening.   Sky`s Sarah Jane Mee conducted yet another assumptive, almost accusative rant along the lines of "How could the Government allow this to happen again?"  Once again, Mr. Wallace responded with the quiet dignity that his position demands and put the Government`s position as clearly as he was allowed.

Now it`s not often I feel sympathy for politicians but I did on this occasion when once again the broadcast media take to hectoring rather than attempting to extract whatever truth may be there to be extracted, never mind any pretence of balance, all of which would have left viewers with perhaps a clear understanding of what is a deeply disturbing situation.

PARDON ?

I`m not going to go on about the General Election result - maybe bizarre would best describe the situation in which we find ourselves. But if I`m looking for bizarre, perhaps the best example lies with the seven elected Sinn Fein members of the Westminster Parliament.  Now for years, the likes of Gerry Adams, having been elected to represent the good folk of Northern Ireland, have refused to take their seats in Westminster.

Sinn Fein`s central aim is for a united Ireland.  It opposes Westminster`s jurisdiction in Northern Ireland and its oath to the Queen, so all of their elected MPs abstain from sitting in Parliament.  Now and again, whilst they work for their constituents, they visit Westminster to use its facilities and meet with government ministers but they refuse to sit in any institution they do not see as legitimate.

Now when I was working, I`m pretty sure that if I refused to attend my place of work I wouldn`t be in the job for long and, as a UK taxpayer, I might be a touch annoyed if these Sinn Fein MPs are drawing their MPs salaries and expenses.   The photo above claims that they are `New Voices for a New Era.`   It would be nice to hear from them now and again in the mother of parliaments even if I might not like what they have to say.

SCHOOL`S OUT..

Today`s the day when both the House of Commons and the House of Lords pack up for their summer `recess.`  They won`t be back until early September and then only for a week or so before they have another month off for the `conference season.`  Then they`ll have a half term holiday and about another month over the Christmas and New Year period.   It all adds yet more legitimacy to their recent 10% pay award along with the corresponding increase in their pension pots.

Schools are also about to break up for the long summer holidays, followed by a half term break and then Christmas and the New Year.  All very familiar.  Now I might be wrong but I thought the long school summer holidays were introduced in the age of Captain Swing in order that children could help farmers at harvest time.   So I look forward to the teaching profession, at their upcoming `conference season` passing a resolution calling for MPs and peers to spend their summer break helping farmers to bring in the harvest bounty. Seems fair.

DEMOCRACY RULES - OK?..

I`ve just seen the lunchtime news and almost buried away among the reports of tragedy are two items that makes me glad I live in a civilised western democracy. 

The first is that the Government commitment to cap care costs for the over 65s and younger people with disabilities at £72,000 is to be delayed.   The commitment promised that this cap would be introduced in 2016 in England (care costs are already free in Scotland of course) but will not now happen until 2020 at the earliest.  In other words, it ain`t ever gonna happen, despite the manifesto pledge that it would.

The other was the report that UK air strikes have been taking place in Syria for some time, despite the fact that the UK Parliament voted against sanctioning such strikes as long ago as 2013.

So we have one instance where the Government said it would do something but isn`t going to and another instance where the Government said it would not do something, but is.   Ain`t life grand?

A DIFFERENT GAME ..

In many games - football, hockey, tennis, even the game of life - being 2-0 down is always a testing time.  It calls for determination to claw it back and a strong desire to win in order to climb the mountain and not just avoid defeat but even to go on and achieve victory.

So it`s interesting to see what`s really going on in Europe with the reality heightened by the recent and ongoing saga surrounding Greece, the IMF, the EU, the ECB but most of all the Greek people.   They are the ones caught in the crossfire of the Realpolitik being played out across the continent, from which the UK is happily semi-detached, at least for now.  It`s interesting to recall that the phrase actually derived in Germany when Realpolitik was coined by Ludwig von Rochau in the 19th century and defined as `politics or diplomacy based primarily on power and on practical and material factors and considerations rather than explicit idealogical notions or moral or ethical premises.` Indeed.  Very telling.

So maybe we shouldn`t be surprised that Germany, finding themselves 2-0 down as a result of their failed military exploits in the last century, are seemingly determined to regain their place in the pecking order but this time through financial hardware rather than military.   Now there are several countries and peoples in Europe with sharp memories of the past which I understand all too well, having been born in 1939 and been lucky enough to survive this long.   That may be another of my generational generalities and the difference may be that the younger generations, not having had such experiences and their consequences, may feel differently.

But no wonder the Greeks, for all their fiscal failings, feel a sense of betrayal, that they`ve been here before and that the outcome is likely to be the same.   And no wonder France hangs on like grim death to the dream of a European Superstate and the coat tails of its neighbour as insurance against a repeat of the past.  And no wonder also that the UK is, however optimistically, hoping to achieve serious change in the way the EU is run in the hopeful quest to  retain at least some semblance of sovereignty over its own affairs.

I get the feeling it`s half-time in the game of Europe and that the winners of the first half had better be more defensively mindful of the strength of the opposition midfield dynamos.   Anyway, my dilemma for today, now that the half-time team talks are taking place in Athens, Brussels, Berlin and Paris, is whether to watch the Test Match from Lord`s, the Golf from St. Andrews or the Tour de France from, well, France I imagine.   I don`t know who will win those either.......

A BIT RICH..

And so the Greek tragedy goes on.   And yesterday, European Commission President Jean-Claude Juncker said that he felt `betrayed` by the `egoism` and `games` played by Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras and his colleagues over the negotiations with Greece`s creditors.   

Now, like it or not, Tsipras and his chums were democratically elected by the Greek voters on an anti-austerity ticket and they have been pursuing the policies on which they were elected.   It`s arguable that the Greek electors` choice of a party with populist ideals but little in the way of financial experience or aptitude might not have been the brightest choice ever made, but nonetheless it was a result that reflected the will of the majority of Greek voters and so, especially in the cradle of democracy itself, that choice should be respected.

So it`s a bit rich for the unelected EU Brussels bureaucrat not only to start telling the Greeks what they should be doing but also being disrespectful to their democratically elected leaders.   I know it will cause a good deal of turmoil and mayhem but in a way I hope the Greek referendum on Sunday gives backing to the country`s elected leaders and in so doing send a clear message to the likes of Juncker and the EU `elite` that whilst Greece may face a mess far greater than any of its creditors, at least it will be a mess of their own choosing.   

GOING FOR A GONG..

Well, it didn`t take long for the true colours of the Westminster Bubble to emerge from the ashes of Labour`s election defeat.   Now there apparently exists a curious convention known as the `dissolution honours,` which allows a defeated leader to reward loyal cronies.   I imagine that these shenanigans are normally conducted rather quietly, away from the public gaze and thus avoiding the kind of criticism  that might be attracted.

This time, however, there`s a snag, which has given rise to a big falling out between former Leader Ed Milliband and Acting Leader Harriet Harman, who protested when discovering that Milliband intended to dish out a peerage to his election co-ordinator, one Spencer Livermore.   She retaliated by demanding a similar `honour` for her press chief, someone named Ayesha Hazarika.   The situation is complicated by the fact that, as things stand, Harriet - as Acting Leader of the party - outranks the crestfallen Milliband and so she is determined to stand up to him.

Labour MPs aren`t happy with this public spat and are said to be `outraged` by the prospect of peerages being give to ` a wonk and a spin doctor,` whilst overlooking two senior Labour parliamentarians, Paul Murphy and Dave Watts, who `have devoted their lives to serving their party and country with distinction and deserve the awards far more` than the two being squabbled over.

And when you look at the comparative qualifications of the four prospective peers in question, I can only agree with the back-bench MPs who are `outraged.`   It seems Mr. Livermore, who naturally lives with his partner, the Labour MEP Sebastian Dance,  is reported to have been promised a peerage when he was recruited by Ed Milliband two years ago and therefore his claim to a seat in the House of Lords seems to hinge on a misguided promise and losing the election which he was paid to co-ordinate.   Ms. Hazarika is a former actress, stand-up comedian and hit the headlines when being sworn at by Hugh Grant in a bar at the 2012 Labour Conference.  Previous to her work for Ms. Harman, she spent time in the Home Office, Downing Street and as chief press officer to Labour Cabinet Minister Patricia Hewitt. It is believed that this almighty fuss has forced Ms. Harmon to abandon her bid to ennoble her press chief. 

The whole thing smack of farce, of course, because it`s one thing to have a discredited honours system anyway, another to have  murky `dissolution honours` and quite another to even suggest that people who live off patronage and favouritism should be suitable candidates to join the ermine-clad ranks of the £300 a day Santa lookalikes that make up the second chamber of the mother of parliaments.   Or maybe they might just fit the bill after all?

WHAT`S GOOD FOR US ..

I`ve tried, my God I`ve tried, to keep away from all the sound and fury of the General Election campaign.  But it`s not easy when something like Tony Blair comes back to haunt us.  Like millions of others, I will never forgive this self righteous chancer for taking us into the Iraq War and so when he takes to an election platform I suppose I am automatically put on my guard and likely to dismiss anything he says as highly dubious.  

Yesterday, when he gave his `speech,`I was not disappointed.  He warned us that David Cameron`s pledge to hold a referendum on Britain`s EU membership would cause economic "chaos."  Cameron, he said, had put "exit on the agenda" by pledging a referendum and that leaving the EU would threaten the UK`s position as a "great global nation."

Now, I`m a simple soul and I confess to a large dose of naivete when it comes to the world in general and politics in particular and I like things to mean what they say.  For example, I thought I knew what democracy meant.  My dictionary tells me that democracy is "government by the people or their elected representatives."  Sounds fair enough.

But in Blairland it clearly means something else.  Yesterday he suggested that the question of Britain`s membership of the EU was too important to be left to a democratic vote.   In other words, people like Blair think they know what`s good for us and so they seek to deny any chance that we might have to express our own opinion. 

So, when he suggests that it would be a disaster if we had an EU referendum and an even bigger disaster if we voted to leave the EU altogether, he forgets that, in my simple notion of what democracy means, the biggest disaster of all would be to deny the people the democratic right to determine their own future - a right that has already been denied to them for over half a century.  I think that what would be really good for us would be for Tone to just go away, count his money and leave us all in peace. 

A PIOUS HOPE...

Okay - firstly a disclaimer.  I am not, never have been and quite probably never will be a member of any political party or organisation.  And so this is not a criticism either of the parties themselves or anyone who sees fit to join them.   Rather my complaint - not for the first time - is with the BBC  who, especially in the run up to a General Election, should surely be demonstrating the degree of political impartiality that we are entitled to expect from a publicly funded organisation.

Early this morning, at the end of a BBC South East Today news bulletin, up pops failed LibDem MP Lembit Opik to proclaim that he will be hosting a phone-in on BBC local radio about the suspension of a UKIP MEP following allegations of some financial impropriety.

Now I could roll out the litany of failure, embarrassment and comic desperation that has dogged Mr. Opik over the years, but that would be to miss the point, which is simply one of bewilderment that the BBC should be inviting a political `figure` to host a discussion into the problems of another political organisation.   Mind you, other television channels are just as bad - for example, SKY inviting former Home Secretary and expenses cheat Jaqui Smith to be part of their Press Review collective.

But when all is said and done, the hope I have for the BBC to act within their original and admirable remit is clearly a pious one.  

ONE DOOR CLOSES..

One of the most contradictory moves in recent years was the appointment of Tony Blair as Middle East Peace Envoy.   Belief was seldom beggared to such an extent as when, as long ago as 2007, he was shoehorned into the role by The Quartet of the UN, USA, EU and Russia with the brief to sort out the Israeli/Palestinian impasse, acting as a wandering statesman on the international scene with access to world leaders.  Words such as gross and grotesque somehow sprang to mind.

No surprise then, that after all these years in the job, the failure to achieve any semblance of success suggested that the most helpful thing he could do was to fall on his sword.  But world statesmen and charlatans don`t do that.  Instead, it`s reported that he is `stepping back,` that the role is being "reconfigured," with Blair saying that he hopes still to be involved in the discredited `peace process.`   Sources from the US Government, however, state that the role "is no longer viable"  and that Blair has "no credibility" left in that process.

So what will Tone do now, I wonder?   Well, fortunately a suitable vacancy has just emerged in his north-east spiritual home.  Perhaps he would fancy managing Sunderland for in Blair land, as soon as one door closes, another one opens........

BEYOND PARODY..

Over two months to go before the General Election and already the build up to it is becoming tiresome.  Now I`ve long thought that events in the Westminster Village are almost indistinguishable from the soap operas we see on television. The essential difference, of course, is that Westminster is supposed to be serious but in many way it mirrors events in Albert Square, Coronation Street or Emmerdale.

In Westminster there are plots and counter plots, intrigue, crimes and misdemeanours and a cast of characters that might come straight out of Llaregub - the fishers, the farmers, the tradesmen and pensioners, cobbler, schoolteacher, postman and publican, the undertaker and the fancy woman, drunkard, dressmaker, preacher, policeman, the webfoot cocklewomen and the tidy wives. 

And the Pantomime villain, the court jester and the serial buffoon. And like Bobby Ewing coming back from the dead and right on cue we now have the return of John, aka Lord, Prescott, one time Deputy Prime Minister, ship`s steward and erstwhile Police and Crime Commissioner, who will act in an unpaid capacity as adviser to Labour Leader Ed Milliband on climate change.  The unpaid bit is interesting, as being Lord Prescott all he has to do is nip next door into the House of Lords, sign the book and pick up his £300 a day attendance allowance.

Now things don`t look good for Ed Milliband at the moment, so in a move that is beyond parody they dust Prescott off and bring him back out of the shadows once more to punch below his weight and confound us with his mangled syntax. What is revealing about this is the notion that bringing this boorish oaf back into mainstream politics will enthuse disillusioned Labour voters on the basis that Prescott is one of the old school grass roots dinosaurs - one of their own - and awfully keen on climate change which is, of course, one of their prime electoral concerns.  Well, it is, isn`t it?    There`s more than a hint of desperation about it.

I confess that I don`t watch soap operas - and I have genuinely never seen an episode of Coronation Street in all the years it`s been going - but there`s no need to really when there`s Westminster to keep us guessing as to what might happen next in the latest unscripted story line.  I`ll be looking out for developments in the Straw/Rifkind `cash for access` allegations, which will be every bit as entertaining as the intrigue surrounding Lucy Beale`s demise.

NO WONDER I FEEL SUSPICIOUS...

So, according to Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne, Britain won`t have to pay the whole £1.7billion bill to the EU after all.   Instead, we will only have to pay £850million with no interest charges and the bill will be paid in two instalments later next year. 

Now straight away it all sounds too good a deal to be true......and things that sound too good to be true seldom, if ever, are.   First off, I can`t believe that our `partners` in the EU would have agreed to such a deal, especially those countries like Germany and France who are supposed to be getting hefty payments rather than demands.   Next, even if it is all true after all, we will still be left with a bill of `only` £850million - that`s £850,000,000 and I can think of so many things we could be doing with that kind of cash rather than sending it off to the black hole of Brussels.  As for the timing of the whole thing, isn`t it odd that this `deal` has arrived less than a fortnight before the Rochester and Strood by-election and isn`t it even more odd that the first interest-free`repayment` will not have to be made until next June, just a month after the General Election?

In the next few days there will be claim and counter claim about the validity of this whole business and, like most things EU, it will be virtually impossible to see through the smoke and mirrors and arrive at a definitive conclusion.   Now maybe I have an ingrained suspicious mind - after 75 years of observing politicians it`s hardly surprising - and so my suspicions are aroused by this so-called deal but more worrying perhaps is that as well as feeling suspicious, I have the distinct feeling that I`m being cheated yet again.