Wednesday, April 29, 2015


Things seem to be getting more and more desperate as the General Election approaches.  Or rather childish, what with the Milliband/Russell Brand travesty, the wee Scots lassie, chuntering Nige, Cameron and his faux `passion`, the bonkers Aussie Sheila and the irrelevant Clegg.   Fols-de-Rols have never been such fun.  Trouble is, it`s supposed to be serious but however hard I try I can`t bring myself to have any trust or faith in any of them.

Here in my Kentish enclave, there`s a tradition on Polling Day to hire a JCB and cart the votes down to the nearest weighbridge rather than bother with the traditional count - the Tories have been in control so long and I can`t see it changing, especially as we have before us a list of Parliamentary candidates of whom only one actually lives in the constituency and I can`t see myself voting for him.

So I tend to look across the border at the neighbouring constituency of Maidstone and the Weald for any entertainment that might be going on around this time.   Now this has also been a traditional Tory stronghold, held before the last election by the self-appointed national treasure that is Ann Widdecombe.   She had a majority of something like 12,000 when she was re-elected for the last time and before she retired to Devon and a series of cringe-worthy appearances on television and in pantomime.

Her successor was one Helen Grant, bussed in by the Tories, despite having stood as a Labour candidate previously, with the required and politically correct qualifications of being of ethnic background and being a woman.   Her majority last time was, however or maybe therefore, reduced to about 6,000 - half that of the sainted Widdy - and I hear reports that she might struggle to retain the seat this time against determined opposition from the LibDems and in the wake of her pitiful Ministerial performances in the last Parliament and her `difficulties` over expenses claims and staffing issues.   And as a mark of the Tories` desperation, the other day she visited the sleepy Wealden town of Cranbrook and brought Widdy along for support.   

Of all the images of this woeful campaign, I think the one I will remember most vividly is the truly terrifying sight and sound of Grant smiling her way around the town with Widdecombe using a megafone to harangue the good folk of Cranbrook  whilst leaning out of the car window.   Now my side of the border might be dull, boring and utterly predictable but at least I don`t have to endure the kind of embarrassment inflicted on the unfortunate electors of Maidstone and the Weald.


Ray Turner said...

I am surprised that Ann Widdecombe needed a megaphone...

Snopper said...

Nice one, Ray. I lol`d.