SHRIEKER OF THE HOUSE?

If it wasn`t so laughable, it might just be funny. Now that Michael Martin is leaving the job of Speaker of the Commons, there`s a pretty unseemily scramble on to take his place. Already, there is a considerable list of likely candidates, amongst whom is the Member for Maidstone and The Weald, Ann Widdecombe, pictured left in typical pose.

Now, Ms Widdecombe may have many virtues but her qualifications to be Speaker seem just a little thin. For instance, she was one of those who voted against the McLean Bill which sought to exclude MPs from the provisions of the Freedom of Information Act, which if it had been passed would have meant that none of the revelations about MPs expenses would have seen the light of day. But maybe she has in mind restoring Parliament`s reputation to what it was pre-expenses scandal?

Then there are Ms. Widdecombe`s own expenses which, on the face of it, appear very modest at a little over £800 for the year. Until you consider that in all that time she didn`t actually have a second home to claim against, preferring instead to remain in London, although I believe she has now relocated to Devon, which must leave the good folk of Maidstone and The Weald wondering just how local their local MP really is. In addition to her MPs salary of £61,500, she also spent £87,000 on `staff,` £21,000 `incidental` expenses, £3,000 on travel and stationery, £1,000 on computers and another £2,500 on `other expenses.` And then there are her very considerable `outside earnings,` currently listed for the past year as including :-

Series of lectures at theatres around the country, booked through Clive Conway Associates. (£15,001-£20,000)
Columnist for Daily Express (£50,001-£55,000)
Payment for Daily Telegraph Podcast (from 9 January 2008). (£5,001-£10,000)
Payment from Channel 4 for appearance in a documentary on Christianity. (£10,001-£15,000) (Registered 30 June 2008)
Three speaking engagements, via Women Speakers (£5,001-£10,000) (Registered 30 June 2008)
Speaking engagement via Gordon Poole; 28 June 2008 for Hadley Holding Company. (Up to £5,000) (Registered 30 June 2008)
Payment for BBC `The One Show`appearance (Up to £5,000) (Registered 30 June 2008)
Payment for RTE appearance on a chat show in April 2008. (Up to £5,000) (Registered 14 July 2008)
Payment for ITV appearance on Daily Cooks Challenge. (Up to £5,000) (Registered 23 October 2008)
Payment for appearance at the Cheltenham Literary Festival. (Up to £5,000) (Registered 23 October 2008)
Payment for an article in Daily Express. (Up to £5,000) (Registered 23 October 2008)
Speaking engagement via Gordon Poole Agency Ltd on behalf of NPIA on 1 December 2008. (Up to £5,000) (Registered 8 December 2008)
Speaking engagement for Three Counties Ladies Luncheon Club on 22 January 2009. (Up to £5,000) (Registered 23 January 2009)
Speaking engagement via Gordon Poole Agency for Built Environment Forum on 27 March 2009. (Up to £5,000) (Registered 30 March 2009)
3 April 2009, speaking engagement for Chartered Institute of Housing. (Up to £5,000) (Registered 7 April 2009)
22 April 2009, speaking engagement for the Association of Inner Wheel Clubs. (Up to £5,000) (Registered 24 April 2009)
29 April 2009, speaking engagement for the Chemical Business Association. (Up to £5,000) (Registered 29 May 2009)
6 May 2009, speaking engagement for the Institute of Directors Norfolk Branch. (Up to £5,000) (Registered 29 May 2009)
4 June 2009, speaking engagement for the Centre for Sheltered/Supporting Housing Studies. (Up to £5,000) (Registered 8 June 2009)

So her contention that she wants to `restore the reputation of Parliament` might be a laudable sentiment but I feel sure we can do better, if only for the interim period that Ms. Widdecombe is graciously offering. I would go for David Dimbleby who may not be an elected representative but since when did that minor inconvenience stop Gordon Brown from appointing an odd assortment of `outsiders` to the Government? Dimbleby would also bring a certain ` tone` and a sense of quiet authority to the role which would be so much more `agreeable` than the shrieking harridan who thinks she`s doing us all a favour by seeking the job. Do us all a real favour, Ann, go back to Widdecombe fair in Devon and leave us in peace.