Simples.......just become 75!  Well, that`s the theory.  When I was asked/told to renew my TV licence a few weeks back, I ticked the box to indicate that I would be 75 later this year - in about three weeks in fact.   They believed me, so I only had to pay about £22 to cover the period between my old licence running out and my birthday.  That was that I thought.

Now I`ve had a nicely worded letter from TV Licensing up in Darlington - the Portsmouth of the north - saying that they `need` my help to issue my free over 75 licence.  I`ve been asked to prove my age by sending them a copy of either a passport (don`t have one; don`t want to go anywhere foreign) ; an EU or EAA national identity card (they`re surely joking); a UK driving licence or a UK birth certificate.   I plumped for the latter and sent it off today, having completed another form to go with it giving my National Insurance number, my telephone number, my date of birth, my home address and my inside leg measurement.

I`ve no problem with any of this as they can`t dish out free TV licences to just anyone and the whole exercise has been dealt with efficiently and sympathetically, if perhaps a shade patronisingly - well, they are dealing with people in their second childhood, approaching their dotage, short of a few marbles, I guess. Perhaps that`s why they sent a pre=paid business reply envelope.

But my only regret is that I qualify for the free licence - so much living to do;  so little time?  Oh, and of course I will feel awkward moaning about the BBC any more - possibly.