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Tuesday, November 27, 2012

HEAR NO EVIL...

Recent days have given us yet another insight into the qualities required of a Premier League manager.   Let`s begin with Mr. Redknapp, just installed as the manager of hapless Queens Park Rangers.   Now a few months ago when he was having his days in court on charges of tax evasion, he confessed on oath to be `the most disorganised person in the world, I can`t write, can`t spell, don`t know what an e-mail is and can`t work a computer.`   So, admirable qualifications to be the saviour of Loftus Road and collect a reported £3million a year with a bonus of another £1million if he saves them from relegation.

Next, Rafa Benitez, lately of Liverpool and now installed as the Interim Manager at Chelsea - surely the most toxic outfit in football - following the sacking of Champions League winning Roberto Di Matteo.   The Chelsea faithful didn`t like Di Matteo`s sacking and they certainly didn`t like Benitez`s appointment.  They made their feelings very clear with a collection of banners and placards but also with boos, catcalls and choice language when Benitez appeared.  His response?  "When the fans are singing in the stands, I don`t understand what they say.  I never heard it as I was concentrating on the pitch."   So, the admirable joint qualifications of denial and selective hearing should help him settle in nicely.

We have now also been blessed with the wisdom and experience of West Ham manager Big Sam Allardyce following the Hammers fans being heard to have repeatedly shouted anti-semitic chants, along with sustained hissing and references to Adolf Hitler, all directed at Tottenham supporters during the game at White Hart Lane on Sunday. But not by  Big Sam it seems.  His initial response?   "I didn`t hear it.  I can`t condemn it.......I don`t want to be a political animal.  I`m here to talk about football, not what the fans are saying or singing."   Of course, Big Sam, we understand.

Now these three examples have appeared in just the last couple of days.   Mercifully we have so far been spared the visual impairment displayed by Arsene Wenger each time one of his players launches an assault on an opponent, the Caledonian mumblings of Ferguson and the ranting of Tony Pulis.   But taking just the aforementioned three examples at face value, one can but draw the conclusion that the ideal Premier League manager should  be totally disorganised, seriously illiterate, hard of hearing and in almost complete denial of the realities which surround him.  Seems to work, but then in the Alice-in-Wonderland parallel universe of the Premier League, why should anyone be surprised? 

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