I DON`T WISH TO KNOW THAT -

KINDLY LEAVE THE STAGE

"I wouldn't say the house was damp but the kids went to bed with a periscope."

Boom, boom, indeed.   Well he looks like Les Dawson, sounds like Les Dawson, so why shouldn`t ex-Deputy Prime Minister Lord Prescott make a few bob by doing a stand up routine on board the luxury cruise liner Queen Mary 2?

Yes, folks, direct from a laugh-a-minute career as a make believe politician, followed by a hilarious appearance before the Chilcot Inquiry when he expressed doubts about the validity of the intelligence leading to the Iraq invasion (pity you didn`t express those doubts in the Cabinet at the time, John,) Lord Prescott has been upholding the tradition for political dignity by being a guest of Cunard aboard their prestigious cruise liner.

In return for giving three stand-up `speeches,` he and the long suffering Pauline are on a £9,000 each jaunt on the super liner where the audience is mostly American and thus unused to the roly-poly, side-splitting badinage of our erstwhile Deputy Prime Minister.  He has apparently caused genuine embarrassment not only to his audience but also to the lovely Pauline who, one would have thought, was used to it by now.   The only relief apparently came courtesy of a norovirus which confined Lord and Lady Prescott to their luxury cabin for most of the journey, thus curtailing any repeat of his on-stage antics.

As if the spectacle of Ann Widdecombe prancing on television was not embarrassing enough for what`s left of the dignity of politics, we now have this ridiculous oaf bringing the game into even more disrepute.   The only difference this time I imagine is the damage being done to the reputation of Cunard for engaging this serial numbskull in the first place.   He is, as the wonderful Chic Murray would say, "as out of place as a left-handed violinist in a crowded string section." 

Boom, boom!!