Saturday, March 11, 2017

Our Golf Correspondent reports.....

It has been some time since we heard anything at all from Snopper and when I caught up with him the other day it quickly became apparent that he was finally ready to emerge from his winter hibernation and resume what passes for `normal service.`  What galvanised him into action was the news that the golfing authorities are planning to introduce a whole series of rule changes.

Now, Snopper has always had a problem with the rules of the royal and ancient game, not the least because he has failed, either through ignorance or deviousness, to apply most of them to his own version of how the game should be played.   He is, therefore, worried that he might not be able to `have another go` if his first tee shot lands - as it invariably does - in nearby woods or ponds.   Moreover, he is concerned that his own rule concerning lost balls might now be in trouble.  You see, he has always contended that losing a ball is punishment enough without adding to your score, which he chooses not to do.   The list goes on - putts being held to be `near enough` and so on.

But there is hope on the issue of the number of golf balls allowed in a bag.  Snopper has probably always exceeded the rule in this regard, on the basis that he invariably loses more balls than the number allowed.  However, his last two rounds of 9-holes on the infamously easy Poult Wood course have seen him, for the first time ever in a long and undistinguished career, use the same ball and lose none at all.   The ball is called `Greg Norman` but that is where the similarity ends.

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