YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!
A puzzling mystery has recently been solved here in the sylvan glades of Dibley. We are lucky to have a network of footpaths, fields and woodland where the parish dogs have their daily walkies, but some time ago a gate leading from a field into the wood was inexplicably padlocked. It wasn`t much of a deterrent, as it proved very easy to just walk around it but the puzzle was to find out who had padlocked the gate and why.
The answer has been revealed following in-depth enquiries and the culprits have turned out to be none other than our local boys in blue. Apparently they were acting on `intelligence` received from unknown sources that poaching might possibly happen in the vicinity. Now whilst I admire their diligence, I have yet to hear of any self respecting poacher who might be put off by a padlock on an easily negotiated gate. Maybe the police`s next move will be to put a sign up. Something like this? -
All of which got me thinking about the security of my own house and I`m thinking of putting up a sign saying `NO BURGLARS` which should be enough to persuade any nocturnal malcontent to look elsewhere for his swag. They, like the mythical poachers, have been warned and we here in Dibley can now rest easily in our beds knowing that any scallywags in our midst will take their criminal intentions elsewhere. Well, they will, won`t they?