SNOPPER HAS HEAD EXAMINED.....

(From Our Health Correspondent)

In a stunning revelation to rival that about the split between William and Kate (and doubtless carrying as much relevance to the man on the Clapham omnibus) we learn that Snopper is to undergo a routine eye examination this afternoon.

Sources reveal that last June, Snopper received a letter from his personal optician asking him to attend for an eye test. However, the pressures on his time have meant that it is only now that he has managed to find time in a crowded diary to fulfill the appointment.

On the occasion of his last test, he was surprised but delighted to discover that his eyesight had actually improved since the previous test some three years before.

Snopper is hoping that this upward trend continues so that he can carry on enjoying his all too infrequent encounters with his optician, who bears an uncanny resemblance to Nicole Kidman. The photo you are seeing (top right) was taken whilst the optician was studying Snopper`s last test results, clearly impressed by his physical, emotional, intellectual and mental health. Rumours that she was tempted to give up opticianing, seduce Snopper, contact Max Clifford and sell her story to The Sun are hotly denied, but this afternoon`s encounter could rekindle speculation all over again.

It is doubtful that further information will be forthcoming as an injunction preventing reporting of the test results is widely anticipated.