ASHLEY COLE SYNDROME STRIKES AGAIN

I hesitate to get into the furore surrounding the antics of Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand - for various reasons. The first is that I avoid watching or listening to Ross if at all possible. He can`t sing, can`t dance and he ain`t funny, so I see no point in tuning in to his programmes. As for Mr. Brand, I have never actually seen or heard him perform apart from witnessing his part in the recent anti-Manuel japes, which hardly qualifies me to comment on him either.

However, it seems that between them, these two have upset not only Andrew Sachs, his granddaughter and the rest of his family, but also a hefty chunk of the listening/viewing public, the Prime Minister, countless back bench MPs, almost the entire written press, Friends of the Earth, the Flat Earth Society and no doubt Joe Kinnear, who may now have to revise his own colloquial vocabulary for fear of being left behind in the colourful language stakes.

But I suggest that the `real issue` - if there is such a thing in something so banal - is that, like Ashley Cole at Wembley, Ross and Brand have long been perceived as overpaid, underwhelming, arrogant, laddish poseurs by a large chunk of the population who have now jumped on the opportunity presented to them to voice their disquiet at what the two of them represent. Quite apart from their anger at the Brand/Ross broadcasts, there is a simmering discontent at the hopelessly unrealistic money paid to them by licence fee payers who have no choice but to cough up.

As Ashley Cole discovered, one slip is enough to trigger the pent up frustration of a large slice of the audience and, now that they have been suspended by the BBC, both Ross and Brand may soon discover the consequences of an own goal of their very own making. Meanwhile, people are having their homes repossessed, people are losing their jobs, people are being killed in meaningless conflicts and Saints find themselves firmly in the relegation zone after last night`s draw with Coventry City.

Against this contextual backdrop of more pressing concern, would it really matter if Ross and Brand were `released from their contracts` and never heard ever again? Or Ashley Cole for that matter? Somehow, I doubt it.