THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE TURNER PRIZE..

Well, on Saturday I celebrated my 75th birthday and it was a good day all round, especially as my cheerful expectations remain undimmed.   I feel no different than I did 20 years ago and I know I`m fortunate to be `in good nick` (to quote from at least two birthday cards) but I really don`t want it to end - too much to live for and all that.    So I felt almost as if I were in some kind of protective bubble, keeping  me safe from the `realities` of the weekend for the rest of the world - yet another airplane catastrophe, more chaos than usual in the middle east, problems in most other parts of the world and, as if to confirm the drift into my second childhood, I could even cite the problems with English cricket and the uncertainties facing Saints supporters.

And, of course, now that I have passed another of life`s milestones, I no longer have to pay the BBC compulsory licence fee and promised that, in return, I would be more restrained in my comments concerning the BBC.   Fat chance.   The weekend has seen at least two more examples of the Python-esque world of BBC-land.  

First, we learned that people seeking employment with the BBC are asked to fill in a 31-page on-line questionnaire describing their sexual orientation, their religion, whether their parents went to university, whether their parents received income support and whether they themselves received free school meals.   As well as that, applicants must complete a Declaration of Interests form, giving details of any shareholdings, political membership or activity or any external business interests.   

Then there are 14 pages of terms and conditions to wade through, a six page guide to working time regulations, two pages about BBC values and two further pages of instructions.  BBC managers insist that all this is necessary to ensure the BBC is meeting its `diversity targets.`   It is truly beyond parody.  And at this rate, one day they will discover that white, straight, state-educated, male Caucasians are in the minority.  What will they do then, I wonder?

And it comes as no surprise to learn that the BBC sent no less than 188 staff to Hoylake to cover the Open Golf Championship - 82 more than the 106 competitors who started in the tournament.   I may not have to pay the licence fee any more but I still find that the BBC`s profligacy with other people`s money sometimes reaches such an art form as to qualify for entry into the Turner Prize.

So, a very good weekend for me, not such a good one for the BBC and the Turner Prize might just have found a new entry.