Well it`s been quite a week.  One which has seen another litany of buffoonery from Boris and his chums and which has not only brought justified outrage at the goings on at the heart of `government` but also the apparent morphing of the fat controller himself into an established national embarrassment.

Going back to the Owen Patterson fiasco things have become progressively more worrying and, yes, embarrassing too with the ongoing sagas about the alleged Christmas party last year, the `financing` of the redecoration of No. 10 and the diversionary tactics designed to distract minds from the chaotic shambles that passes for leadership. (Imagine having to set up an inquiry to determine whether a party took place in your house and whether you attended it or not.) As if there are not more serious and pressing issues that they should be concerning our elected representatives.

It is, of course, the pantomime season and we expect some jolly japes at this time of the year, some over acting, some posing, some jokes and all that but it really is depressing to see the leadership of the country themselves reduced to the role of pantomime villains.   I watched some of the parliamentary proceedings this week, notably Prime Minister`s Questions on Wednesday and it really was like watching a true life pantomime but one which this time was played out before an audience that rightly expected better.  In a theatre they would have been booed off the stage.

More than that, there were times when the claim, counter claim, denial and ya boo of it all took me back to the school playground of my boyhood but I suspect that, even back then, we scamps running around and feeling our way around life probably behaved with more insight, honesty and sense of right and wrong than the pantomime dames on all sides of Parliament`s stage.

There was a by-election in this parish yesterday, with the main political parties fielding candidates and for the first time in a lifetime of using my vote, I really could not bring myself to visit the polling station and vote for any of them.  I wonder why. 

 

I confess that I really don`t follow every twist and turn of parliamentary debate but I was intrigued to catch a snippet from the proceedings of the Liaison Committee the other day.   That`s the one when the Prime Minister of the day is questioned by the Chairmen or Chairpeople of the various Parliamentary Select Committees. The Liaison Committee considers the overall work of select committees, promotes effective scrutiny of Government and chooses committee reports for debates.   It questions the Prime Minister on policy issues, usually about three times a year.   

The main reason for my passing interest was that out local Member of Parliament here in Kent is Tom Tugendhat who is also Chairman of the Foreign Affairs Select Committee and as such has an influential voice on the Liaison Committee and the other day he was questioning the Prime Minister about an area of policy and, reasonably enough, anticipated a straightforward answer.

The press report of that exchange suggested that Boris Johnson, perhaps not for the first time, seemed unprepared and responded to questions "with a waffly series of ill-prepared replies."  Tom spotted what the Prime Minister was up to and snapped, "I`m interested in the answers to my questions, not the ones you wished I had asked."   Boris referred to Tom as `Mr. Tugendhat,` which suggests that the pair of them, despite supposedly being on the same side, do not enjoy the best of relationships.

Shouldn`t be surprised at this or indeed at the Prime Minister`s apparently unconvincing responses to legitimate questions.  It`s the same at Prime Minister`s Questions every Wednesday in the House of Commons, where his answers are confined largely to bluster, equivocation and evasion.   Maybe it should be renamed Prime Minister`s Answers?

 

 

WELL, MAYBE NOT ?...

The events of yesterday concerning the issues surrounding the Labour Party have given rise to a curious situation.   The Equality and Human Rights Commission issued their findings following months of investigation into alleged anti-Semitism within the Labour Party.  The EHRC found the party was responsible for three breaches of the Equality Act.  The first was political interference in regard to anti-Semitism complaints; the second was failure to provide adequate training for those handling anti-Semitism complaints; and harassment, including the use of anti-Semitic tropes and suggesting that complaints of anti-Semitism were fake or smears.

As a result of of the comments he made concerning the report, former Leader Jeremy Corbyn has been temporarily suspended from the party and it remains to be seen what other, if any action is taken against the party so I won`t speculate any further.

But the curious situation which has emerged - it was probably there anyway but has now been confirmed and heightened thanks to the EHRC report - is that the electors of this country are now faced with a really rather depressing choice as to which political party, if any, to vote for.

The choice seems to have come down to a party which is probably now unelectable; one which is clearly incompetent; another which is wholly irrelevant; and a few at the fringes which are languishing in the Isthmian League of the political pyramid.  And you wonder why I probably won`t bother, even if I`m still around in 2024 ?

 

When I was very young about 75 years ago I remember being allowed to listen to Children`s Hour on the radio - in those days there was just the radio (no television) when programmes were limited to things like the Home Service and the Light Programme.  I think Children`s Hour came on at 5.00pm each day and it was introduced by a kindly sounding gentleman called Uncle Mac, who always closed the programme by saying, "Goodnight children. Everywhere.".  I particularly liked listening to the `serials` - things like Ballet Shoes (which I liked for the music - Wolf Ferrari`s `Jewels of the Madonna` and such like - before anyone asks) and regular features such as Toytown and the Just So Stories.    

Now that I`ve grown up a bit I have tended to tune in to Prime Minister`s Questions which are broadcast each Wednesday at 12.00 noon and it, along with the antics going on in the run up to the American Presidential Election, begins to make me wonder whether anyone in politics has grown up either.  What is truly worrisome about the `Presidential Debates` is not only the appalling behaviour of the candidates, which amounts to an insult to the intelligence of the would be voters, but also the frightening prospect that either of the candidates will end up as the leader of the western world with his finger on the nuclear button. (If only it was a her.?)

Back here we have the Fat Controller and his assorted Mr. Men grappling with the biggest crisis to hit the country in decades;  Mr. Grumpy of the Opposition just being, well, grumpy and a succession of `smaller` party hacks jumping up and down trading insults, lies, damned lies and statistics just because they can in pursuit of their particular fantasies. 

The most recent entrant to these fol-de-rols is one Sir Ed Davey, knighted after promising to go way from politics only to leap back on the bandwagon.  He is rumoured to be the newly elected leader of the Liberal Democrats and has just been on television to say how dreadful it was that his party got hammered at the last election, wondering why and promising to listen to what people have to say.  Maybe he and his chums should have listened to the astonishment of the voters when they were told that, despite the majority in the 2016 EU Referendum to leave the EU, the Liberal Democrats decided to ignore that democratic mandate and campaign at the last election to remain in the EU after all. "They did not listen, they did not know how.  Perhaps they`ll listen now." (D. McLean)

It`s said time and time again that politics and politicians have never been held in such low esteem but it`s hardly surprising when all you hear are Just So Stories coming out of the Toytown of Westminster.

Goodnight children.  Everywhere.

AN ILL WIND ?

Of course, the one issue on most people`s mind at the moment is the corona virus - now officially a pandemic.  And it doesn`t need me to go on about it as the wall-to-wall 24 hour news bulletins themselves go on about little else.  But still there are some things that cross my mind as anxieties grow daily about what its effect will be on ourselves as individuals, our friends and family and our way of life.

It`s tempting to shrug it off - these things happen to other people, don`t they? - or even to treat it lightheartedly as a mask for the anxiety that lies beneath. ("I expect the manufacturers of liquid soap are rubbing their hands in glee") but it`s obviously too serious an issue to be swept to the back of one`s mind.

But perhaps - pious hope, I know - that this ill wind might, after all, bring some good in the long run.  Now I don`t know why but I honestly can`t remember whether past epidemics (SARS, MERS, swine flu and the rest) brought the same degree of anxiety as this one does;  maybe it`s the `social media` and the unending news output that has brought corona virus to the forefront, whereas previous virus issues received perhaps a little less attention.  Either that or maybe this one is really the most serious we have encountered for a generation....or maybe my memory of past instances of this nature has faded along with loads of other memories.

So where`s the ill wind blowing some good in all this?  What`s the pious hope?  Well, maybe just maybe if/when the nations of this planet get through it all there will be something of a global inquest as to how it happened, how it was dealt with and how to avoid it happening again.  More piously I hope that this experience might have the effect of bringing the nations of the world closer together, for if viruses like this one know no borders, no boundaries, why should we not use this experience to break down at least some of the entrenched positions and barriers that beset the world and seek a better way of living together?

I should know better, of course, but even if we ourselves might not - then at least hope springs eternal.

One of the more intriguing things to emerge from last week`s General Election was the way in which the Labour Party is responding to the drumming it received at the hands of countless disenchanted former Labour voters especially in the Midlands and the north of the country.  And predictably their most pressing concern is who to succeed Oh Jeremy Corbyn as party leader and, more importantly, Leader of Her Majesty`s Loyal Opposition.

And already candidates waiting in the wings are beginning to emerge from beneath assorted stones and various woodwork and it will be interesting to see what qualities will be looked for in the impending competition.  Now, not being a member of the Labour Party or any other political organisation, I`m hardly in a position to comment but there seem to be three choices open to the National Executive and the wider party membership.

The first - and perhaps the least likely - is that they might choose a candidate steeped in the Corbynista tradition, to pursue those policies, hopes and dreams of the now discredited Jezza - not to be recommended I would have thought;  the second might therefore be someone who has got the message from the election, in that for the party to carry on as usual simply will not do and that a root and branch revision of the whole point of the Labour party is what is necessary. Not sure that seems very likely either.

But lastly there is the up to date, modern, politically correct option.  This might already be off the ground as there seems to be an imperative to appoint a woman as leader just because she is a woman. But in order to be attractive to the majority of urban based, middle class, educated party members, she should ideally be either lesbian, bi-sexual or transgender, come from an ethnic minority background, come from somewhere oop north, be state educated, be a devotee of Greta Thunberg, not be in possession of even a scrap of plastic, not be prepared to go to war with anyone for whatever reason, be determined to scrap the country`s nuclear deterrent, be committed to a vegan diet and cycle to work and back each day.

Shouldn`t be too difficult.

It has now been well over three years since the EU Referendum, since when we seem to have been stuck in a time warp as the UK Parliament has failed time and again to implement the decision - and it was a decision given to the British people to make - to leave the institution that is the European Union.   The vote was pretty close but clear with a majority well over a million votes.

Now I confess to have voted to leave - mainly for reasons that might be partly selfish,  based partly on family history but principally because I thought it best for the country to regain its independence, to be able to conduct its own affairs and to confirm its place as a leading nation in world affairs, trade and international relations.  I quite accept that those who voted to remain in the EU are more than entitled to their view but in the end a democratic decision was made by the people and needed to be respected and acted upon.

But the way that Parliament has behaved in all that time has been a national disgrace and continues to be so.   MPs have shown themselves to be incapable of applying reason to carrying out the will of the majority but instead we have had a litany of argument, manoeuvre and evasion all attempting to disguise the reality that the majority of MPs did not agree with the referendum result and so have used the three years to indulge in blatant political opportunism all leading to the farcical situation in which the nation now finds itself.  They shout, they argue, they rant, they bring the game into disrepute and wonder why most people outside of Westminster or even London are thoroughly tired of them and all their works.

Last night I watched the first ten minutes or so of the BBC Question Time programme which quickly descended into yet more shouting, arguing and ranting leaving the audience once again perplexed that these politicians can behave the way they do rather than concentrate on the mandate they should have honoured months, if not years, ago.  I switched the TV off as I could stand it no longer.

And all the sound and fury both within Parliament and outside reminded me of Joe South`s `Games People Play.`   His song goes back decades but is somehow still relevant to modern day British politicians.   The first few lines are:-

`Oh the games people play now

Every night and every day now

Never meaning what they say now

Never saying what they mean

And they wile away the hours

In their ivory towers

Till they're covered up with flowers

In the back of a black limousine.`

Once again it takes music to tell the truth but I wonder what lyrics will be able to describe the mayhem on the streets if the referendum result is ultimately denied and the majority are silent no more..............

No wonder I`m exhausted !   Yesterday was one of those days when things seemed to get worse as the day went by.   And what momentous events they were.   I know we live in unusual, not to say unprecedented, times but really some of the things that came to pass yesterday made me wonder whether I had been transported to the set of a Disney fantasy epic.   But the reality, of course, was that I was simply continuing to live in yet another example of the fact that we are living proof of existing in God`s blueprint, the prototype, the draft edition so that all the bugs can be ironed out before He (or more likely She) produces the proper job.

The big issues of the day included, of course, the anointing of Big Boris as our new Prime Minister following yet another thoroughly undemocratic process which foisted him on the country thanks to the votes of about 92,000 card carrying conservatives.   He`ll have his rant to Parliament today whereupon Parliament will shut down until  a brief reappearance in September.   There was a time when railroads were run properly - this ain`t no way to run a railroad.

Then another hot steamy day of weather - temperatures soaring, humidity rising and us elderly burdens confined to barracks as we comply with Government `advice.`   It`s all down to climate change, of course, although it might still be another design fault that God has to iron out before getting it right.   At least it keeps the climate change protesters, the plastic protesters and the mental health campaigners busy.

But surely the most momentous event in all of yesterday`s priorities was the capitulation of the England cricket team who were dismissed for a mere 85 before lunch in the Lord`s Test against Ireland.   This may have been an allegory of the Irish Government`s  determination to keep the backstop for the border with Northern Ireland - yet another uncanny event with hidden meaning, dire consequences and an unknown outcome.

And finally, in the late evening Hampshire went down to a resounding defeat against Sussex in the T20 competition at Hove, actually.   Just seemed to bring the day to an appropriate finale.   Nurse !!!!!

I`M CONFUSED....

Well, it`s hardly surprising.  Now there was a time when I despaired at the fact that after thousand of years of human existence, we had finally managed to produce Mrs. Brown`s Boys.   But more recent events have nudged that triumph into second place behind the extraordinary state of politics in this country.

I`ll begin by going back to the results of the referendum in June 2016, which now seems a life time away but it`s perhaps worth noting some aspects of the result.  Admittedly it was a tight call but the result of the biggest democratic vote in the country`s history was nevertheless a majority in favour of leaving the EU with 17.4 million voting to leave and 16.1 million voting to remain.

The referendum results also showed that 406 parliamentary constituencies voted to leave, with 242 voting to remain.   Of those constituencies that were either Labour or Conservative, 148 Labour constituencies voted to leave with 84 voting to remain.  As for the Conservative constituencies, 247 voted to leave, with 80 voting to remain. All in all, whether you personally voted to leave or remain, it`s hard to deny the substantial majority in facour of leaving the EU.   However, in that same referendum, 160 Members of Parliament voted to leave but 486 voted to remain.

So it`s pretty obvious that the problem is not the result but the MPs who should be honouring the result and implementing the majority decision - and it was a decision left to the country to decide.   As I say, no wonder I`m confused and I have been for over three years now as to why the majority are still being denied.

But if anything, Brexit has brought about yet more confusion.  To be fair to them, the Liberal Democrats have consistently refused to accept the will of the majority and are still campaigning for Brexit to be stopped one way or another.  So their idea of liberal democracy should surely mean that they change their name  at least.

As for Labour, they were apparently in favour of abiding by the wishes of the majority of their supporters by voting for Article 50 but now they seem to have changed their minds at the behest of their trade union paymasters as they see their best chance of political gain, not to say survival, is to court the remain vote in any forthcoming general election.  That`s if the leadership - I use the term lightly - can ever bring itself to get off the fence and start being honest.

Finally the Conservatives - riven for decades by the question of Europe - have embarked on probably the most undemocratic process by which the country ends up with a new Prime Minister.   It surely cannot be right that 160,000 paid up conservative party members can decide who will lead a country of 60 million souls and furthermore we are likely to have foisted upon us someone of doubtful character, limited ability and embarrassing persona.

About 15 years ago my football club, Southampton, was being run by a Chairman who possessed similar `attributes.`   As a shareholder, I expressed the view at the time that I did not want the club to continue to be represented in that way and I recall being confused then as to how that problem might be resolved.   But that is nothing to the confusion I feel now.

Fortunately, my club came through its crisis - but I wonder if the country can ever do the same?

...well, maybe...

It`s been a difficult week juggling my priorities between conflicting interests.  I suppose I should have placed this week`s Brexit mayhem at the top of my list of concerns but there has been stiff competition from the Test Match in Sri Lanka and the shenanigans surrounding the Premier League and the `selection` of Wayne Rooney in the England football team.

Brexit seems to be heading in the direction of joining the festive fol-de-rols as probably the most engaging pantomime of the season.  The cricket in Sri Lanka is going well although I am rather relieved not to be one of the barmy army of travelling England supporters, having read of the short walk David Lloyd took from the pavilion at Galle to the commentary position, during which he passed a monkey, a boa constrictor and a cobra.

So let`s have a look at the week`s football news and two things really stand out.  The first - and least troublesome - was the selection of Wayne Rooney back in the England squad and made captain when he came on to play in the second half.   Now maybe I shouldn`t mind too much that he secured his 120th cap but it seemed to me that England caps should be won on merit, not handed out like a bag of sweets to reward good behaviour.  It wouldn`t surprise me if Rooney doesn`t get beatified on his way to sainthood before too long.

But the real issue this week has been the Premier League clubs agreeing to a request to stump up £250,000 each so that departing premier League boss Richard Scudamore can have a £5million leaving present.   And this for someone who has been in the job for 19 years on a salary of £2.5million a year.  No wonder fans across the country have voiced their outrage at such nonsense.   I was disappointed that my own club, Southampton, went along with it rather than thinking just how much good £250,000 would do for the poorer parts of the community.

Issues such as that, the alleged financial fair play system, the outrageous salaries paid to Premier League players, the preponderance of foreign ownership and the increasing uncompetitiveness whereby the league is now split between about six clubs vying for the title and the rest trying to avoid relegation, all point to a growing disillusionment among the majority of its audience.   

So I`m rather hoping - perhaps a pious hope - that before too long the `top six` will indeed shove off and join a European Super League and leave the rest of us in peace.   Of course, that presupposes that English clubs will be allowed to do so after Brexit.  Which leaves me turning yet again to cricket which provides a constant air of sanity and reason in a world which becomes increasingly bonkers.

Years ago I had a bit of a dabble in stocks and shares but it didn`t go well, so I bailed out although I held on to my paltry amount of shares in the now defunct Southampton Leisure Holdings Ltd, the then parent company of Southampton FC.  That all went pear shaped as well, so these days I don`t normally follow the ups and downs of the stock markets.

But it seems that the FTSE, the DAX and other leading markets have got the jitters again.  No great surprise except that the reason for these latest wobbles is all down to the way the Italian government and, of course, the EU Commission are behaving.

Not too long ago, there was a general election in Italy which saw the rise of the more populist, largely Euro-sceptic parties on the promise of spending more lire on mainly social issues such as increasing wages for the most poorly paid.  No wonder they romped home.

Now, as is the custom in the EU each member state is obliged to present its proposed budget for `approval` by the EU Commission and the Commission has `rejected` Italy`s budget and asked them to think again, reduce their proposed expenditure levels and resubmit their budget in three weeks time.

Now unless I`m misreading the situation in Italy, there was a general election which was won by the coalition of the populist Five Star and Norther League parties, who made pre-election promises to the voters which they are now seeking to implement through this budget.   I think it`s called democracy and however daft, trivial, dangerous the issues which won the day at the ballot box may have been, nevertheless that`s what the majority of Italians voted for and expect to be delivered.

Ring a bell?   The parallels are obvious, of course, and this is yet another example of the EU denying the democratic process and is yet another example of why people like me voted over two years ago to leave the dictatorial, remote, largely unaccountable EU and opt instead to reclaim our national sovereignty and have our destiny, whatever it may turn out to be, in our own hands.  

I accepted then and I still do, that the decision taken by the majority to leave the EU would have consequences, that there would in all probability be some initial financial and other effects but that as a resolute and resilient nation we would be more than capable of riding the storm and coming out the other side all the better for it. 

But the EU plot continues to thicken - Ireland, Greece, Maastricht, now Italy - and they continue to frustrate our own 2016 referendum as well.  And the more they do so,, the more the remainers march and rant about another `people`s vote`, the more determined I and I suspect still the majority in this country will be to get out while the going`s good.

REASONS FOR LEAVING..

OK, I confess.  I voted 27 months ago for the UK to leave the European Union.  There were many reasons why I did, some of which were perhaps bordering on the trivial - personal ones connected with my own and my late father`s military experiences  which rather made the idea of being a subject of a United States of Brussels less than appealing.

Other more substantial reasons included the chance for the UK to regain its independence following its loss of sovereignty and to regain control of our own affairs which, for an island nation, is probably more relevant than if you originate on continental Europe.  But there are bits of the EU way of doing things that are frankly utterly unacceptable.  Amongst them are things such as the fact that their accounts have not been signed off by their own auditors for over 20 years now and the sheer nonsense and vast expense of decamping from Brussels to Strasbourg each month in order to pander to Gallic hauteur.  

And another reason was rather quietly reported just today when the European Court of Justice decided that details of the way in which MEPs spend their expenses will remain secret.  Now  each Member of the European Parliament is entitled to spend £3,900 a month on `expenses,`  but the European Court has ruled that having to prove how that money is spent might breach the MEPs privacy.   In total, the annual cost of these expenses amounts to about £35million all paid for by the taxpayer, of course.

So it seems that the European Court`s decision means that I will never know how the MEPs spend the chunky amount of tax I have to pay towards their `expenses.`   Surely that is a breach of my own privacy in itself in that I think I should have a right to know where my money is going?  Not a sufficient reason of itself to vote leave, I grant you, but yet another nail in the coffin of any thoughts I might ever have to doubt the way in which  I cast my vote all those months ago.

Time to reset the privacy button, I think.

THE OBVIOUS SOLUTION...

I see that Sir Vince Cable, recently reinstalled as an MP following his all too brief time away from the Mother of Parliaments and the likely new leader of the Liberal Democrats now that Tim Farron has completed his gap year, says he is "beginning to think that Brexit might never happen."

He goes on to say that "enormous" divisions in both the Labour and Conservative parties and a "deteriorating" economy would make people think again.   "People will realise that we didn`t vote to be poorer and so I think the whole question of continued membership will once again arise," he said.   He went on to suggest that, whilst the LibDem policy of a second referendum on the terms of a Brexit deal didn`t "really cut through in the general election," it could offer voters "a way out when it becomes clear that Brexit is potentially disastrous."

All part of the growing, insidious and relentless `campaign` to brainwash people to think again and reverse the referendum decision to leave the European Union.  My fear is that, in the end, people may be frightened off paying whatever the financial and economic cost may be rather than being inspired by the opportunities and freedoms that leaving the EU will bring.  And comments like those from Vince Cable, the BBC, Sky, parts of the print media, social commentators and so called`celebrities` are all part of the plot.

Anyway, a couple of things following Cable`s comments.  First, maybe the Liberal Democrats should undergo a name change to the Liberal Undemocrats, since they clearly have no respect for the democratic process whereby the majority of voters opted to leave the EU.   But also the obvious solution to the LibDems` policy review must be that, whilst they will doubtless say they do respect the outcome of the referendum, the final outcome of the negotiations should result in the UK staying in the single market and the customs union and remaining subject to the diktats of the European Courts.  Bingo!!

A FORTNIGHT IN AN AFTERNOON..

As usual, the magic of a week away in Cornwall has worked wonders for my essential maintenance and despite being back already in the same old, same old routine/rut of gardening, shopping, car stuff and all the other essentials of modern day living, I find myself looking wistfully back on the days of last week - was it really only last week? 

The photo above is one I took on one of our early morning walkies with Barney our faithful retriever before the summer heat reached scorchio proportions and it shows a look across the creek where the sound of silence was deafening.   I didn`t read a newspaper all week - the nearest shop was a whole world away - but I had access to the red button, so kept abreast of current affairs.

And I saw that Theresa May`s hard time was continuing.  She`s had a rough ride lately - a duff election campaign followed by a duff election result;  the tragedies of Manchester, London Bridge, Grenfell Tower;  the ongoing Brexit wrangles both at home and in Brussels;  the need to stitch a deal together with the DUP - the list goes on.  And as I wandered through the footpaths and around the creeks of that timeless bit of Cornwall, I found myself visualising Theresa`s opening remarks at yet another COBRA meeting.......

"Good moaning.  I`ve been reading that Snopper bloke`s blog and he seems to have found a place where you can spend a fortnight in an afternoon - just the pace of life I could do with right now.  So I said to Philip last night that I`ve had enough of all the ass I`ve got to put up with so I`m buggering off down to Cornwall to live happily ever after.  Over to you Boris, David, Philip..... - `bye."

Well, you could hardly blame her.

...I`m not sure you`re going to like this...

But here goes anyway.   Now, of course, like everyone else I have been appalled by the tragic and horrific events that have taken place at Grenfell Tower in London.  It`s impossible, for those of us not directly involved, to imagine the harrowing experiences of the occupants, their neighbours, families and friends and I have nothing but the most profound sympathy for all those affected.

But the images on television, the accounts on the radio and the reports in the print media have perhaps made it more evident that in this so called United Kingdom, there are at least two quite separate countries - one is called London and the other is called the rest - although I suspect that there are yet more separate countries in the big conurbations up and down the rest of the country.  I feel a bit uncomfortable at this confirmed realisation.

Next, I notice that today`s anniversary of the murder of MP Jo Cox is to be marked by an event over this coming weekend called The Great Get Together.   It must have passed me by in my Dibley-esque Kentish enclave but apparently the event will involve `thousands of street parties and baking competitions` all over the country to `celebrate the life of Jo Cox.`

Now I`m sure I`m missing the point and, once again of course, I have the deepest sympathy for Jo Cox`s family and friends over her tragic and brutal killing.   But - yes, there is always a but with me - whilst I fully understand the need and desire for her family to mark the anniversary I wonder how the friends and families of all those others who have been murdered in what now seems an almost daily occurrence feel.  I suspect they are mourning and `celebrating` the lives of their own loved ones in their own way, perhaps with the private sincerity that befits both them and the occasion.   We seem to be prone to straying into the realms of celebrity mourning?  If so, I`m not sure it`s very appealing.

And lastly, the BBC.  Now being an elderly curmudgeon I don`t have to pay the compulsory licence fee, but if I did I might just be a tad miffed at their obviously biased coverage given not only to the tower block tragedy but also to so many of the other major issues of the day.  It`s time the BBC remembered the words of Johnny Mercer in accentuating the positive, eliminating the negative, latching on to the alternative and most certainly not messing with mister in between.

So there we are - a few things off my chest before I`m afraid I have to close down these pages for a while for what is euphemistically described as `essential maintenance.`

A SIMPLE SOLUTION...

With all the fuss and bother surrounding Theresa May and HM Gov. perhaps the biggest worry for our Prime Minister is the prospect that the Queen`s Speech to Parliament might have to be delayed.   I can imagine that that might cause an irreversible rift in relations between Her Majesty and her Prime Minister, especially as it might involve the Queen having to miss the Royal Ascot horse racing thingy.

Well, here`s a simple solution.  Rather than all the pomp and circumstance of the Queen delivering her speech to the assembled Lords and Commons in Westminster, why can`t she deliver it from  Ascot on a video link?  Either from the royal box (I`m pretty sure there must be one) or even as she proceeds in her horse drawn buggy down the Royal Mile?

To every complex problem, there is always a simple solution - if I carry on like this I might yet cop for a gong, which I would be happy to accept in the post.  Simples.

SPOILT FOR CHOICE...

Don`t know about you but already, with three weeks to go, I`ve had enough of the General Election campaigning.  There`s the old saying about statistics, of course - you know the one - lies, damned lies and statistics - and the more I hear from our campaigning politicians the more it seems there are lies, damned lies and election campaigns.

We seem to be spoilt for choice this time round between a mixed assortment of party leaders.  The Labour Party is rumoured to be led by Jeremy Corbyn.  Now I would have thought that anyone who was once the alleged paramour of Diane Abbott is automatically barred from holding any responsible position. 

Then there is one Tim Farron, who found himself leader of the Liberal Democrats who are so democratic that they want to reverse the democratic decision of the majority of voters and crawl back on bended knee into the European Union.   Oh, and they want to legalise cannabis.  Of course they do.  Maybe when Tim`s gap year is over he`ll think differently.

The Green Party always intrigue me.  Until last year they had a Leader, Natalie Bennett, who was Australian and barely comprehensible.  She apparently supports polygamy and doing away with the monarchy whilst the current leadership want to legalise prostitution. Sounds par for the green course. The current leadership is held jointly by Caroline Lucas and Jonathan Bartley, presumably because the membership couldn`t decide which one to choose or maybe they were worried about inflicting mental health issues on whichever one was rejected.   Bartley`s claim to fame seems to be that he had an uncle who was married to Deborah Kerr, whereas Lucas unfathomably escaped prosecution for obstructing the highway during the Balcombe anti- fracking demonstrations a couple of years ago.

Which leaves the Conservatives, UKIP and any other even more bonkers parties that may emerge from the woodwork.   The Tories are now led by Theresa May, who seems to be Maggie Thatcher without the handbag (yet) and UKIP are currently led by Paul Nuttall who reminds me more and more of Peter Kay.  Their mission is surely accomplished, job done and our democratically arrived at decision to leave the EU can surely be left in the hands of David Davis, Liam Fox, Boris Johnson and their chums.  Well, it can can`t it?

I`m thinking of starting The Football Party, led by Matthew Le Tissier, when everything will be decided  over 90 minutes plus stoppage time at Wembley.  It might be just as sensible..........

There have been a number of occasions over the past 77 years when I have felt something approaching genuine despair.   I remember, for example, the sinking feeling I had around the time I was doing my National Service when the Cold War was at its height and there was a real danger of being caught up in a collision between the old east/west protagonists.  

And there I was on the night of my 21st birthday supposedly `guarding` the regiment`s tanks in the wilds of Luneburg Heath armed only with a whistle and a pick axe handle.  No wonder I felt a tad vulnerable.

And just now I`m beginning to get that feeling all over again, what with the Syria disaster, the Russian involvement, the Trump thing, the madness of North Korea  and all that.  And so, perhaps like 56 years ago, I turn once more to the gallows humour of The Kingston Trio and their rendition of The Merry Minuet, which seems just as relevant today as it did all those years ago.   Here it is:-

REDEEMING FEATURES ?

I`ve tried over many years now, to adopt an attitude towards other people that looks for the good in them - slow to chide and quick to bless, trying always to be tolerant and understanding - and most times it is possible, even on some `testing` occasions, to discover that if one looks hard enough then maybe the odd redeeming feature will emerge. 

For example, my former obsession with `Sir` Alex Ferguson reached perhaps startling proportions, given his persona of belligerence, wilful disdain and assumption that he could ignore the rules which most other football managers were compelled to observe.  He has long gone, of course and is well in to a comfortable retirement and it may be me becoming a little more `mellow` or even desperately trying to find something in him with which I have no issues.   And, of course, his one redeeming feature was that he was a winner - he won things even if the managerial practices by which he became successful were questionable.

But, try as I might, I have found it impossible to detect one single redeeming feature in `Big` Sam Allardyce, currently plying his managerial trade at Crystal Palace, having stopped off at the shortest reign of any manager of the England national side.  I`m afraid he comes across as lacking in any form of `charm,` and like Ferguson he somehow displays that natural belligerence and wilful disdain that marks him out as one who might keep Palace in the Premier League, as he did with Sunderland, but who does little for the public persona of the club which employs him.

I`ll keep looking for some chink of light in the darkness but I suspect it will, for me, be yet another in a long line of failed attempts.   Just don`t get me started on Diane Abbott 

A sudden rush of decorating and associated tasks has kept me away from these pages for a while but now that week is over, I have had time to reflect on a few things which seem to be deeply troubling.

The week`s news has been dominated by the shenanigans concerning the `race for the White House` in the good ol` US of A.   And it troubles me considerably to see that that `race` is between a shrieking harridan of doubtful pedigree and a self-important mega-rich businessman with apparently no knowledge or experience whatsoever of politics, foreign policy or anything else to do with being the `leader of the western world.`  It truly is a choice between two of the least attractive presidential candidates there have ever been and, whoever wins, we are right to be uncertain as to what the future may hold.

And speaking of uncertainty, back here in our disunited Kingdom, there`s all the fuss about Brexit.  Now the issues and the arguments that surround it are too numerous, complex and arcane for me to even attempt to discuss them here.  But I wonder why I am deeply suspicious when I keep hearing politicians repeatedly declaring that they `of course respect the referendum result.`  I just have a feeling in my bones that we`ve seen this all before - the Irish referendum on the Mastricht Treaty springs to mind - and I just hope I live long enough to see the decree absolute finally arrive.

And so in a desperate attempt to lighten the gloom, I turn once more to football.  And what do I find this weekend?  The Saints, having seen off Inter Milan - yes, Inter Milan - last Thursday evening, stumble away to Hull City - yes, Hull City - yesterday afternoon; a result that really should not be allowed to stand.   After all, Southampton had so much more possession, more shots at goal, more corners than Hull City who had lost each of their last five games.   The result is clearly a mistake and so the game should be replayed, this time with the right result.   It`s obviously a case to be judged by the Independent Court of Arbitration in Sport, to be fair. 

And all the while, the mayhem in Syria, Iraq and other parts of our fractious planet remains unresolved.   As I started by saying, things seem to be deeply troubling.