A CLOSE SHAVE...

Three years ago, Harry Redknapp finally left Southampton Football Club to return to his `spiritual home` along the M27. His departure followed his presiding over the club`s first relegation from the Premiership in 27 years and failure to regain that status even with the parachute payment.

At the time, we were glad to see the back of `Arry but were left perplexed as to who might take his place.

Step forward Dennis Wise, who had played 12 games for Saints by the time Redknapp had left. Also there at the time was Dave (`Arry) Bassett, like Wise once of Wimbledon and who was memorable for calling the gifted Arsenal player Kanu, `Canoe.` With Redknapp having gone, Dennis and Dave were asked to take the roles of joint caretaker managers until the club sorted out what they wanted to do on a permament basis.

Bassett, to his credit, kept his head down, kept a low profile and got on with coaching the players. Dennis, however, saw this as his opportunity and he was prone to standing in the technical area during games dressed in his Armani suit and giving the impression that he knew what management was all about.

After a while, Saints decided to appoint now Scotland manager George Burley, leaving Wise to shuffle off to Coventry City, for whom he played a few games before reviving his managerial prospects at Leeds. Nowadays, of course, Dennis is - of all things - Executive Director (Football) at Newcastle United, a club awash with intrigue, confusion and demoralisation. They also have Joe Kinnear - also once of Wimbledon - as their very own caretaker manager, who has recently complained that he has been `ridiculed for no reason` by the press. And who is wholly mistaken in that belief.

Meanwhile, Wise continues to be the serial scuffler he always was, the eminence grise in the boardroom, displaying the kind of malevolence that has been a hallmark of his career. As the Peter Mandelson of St. James`s Park, Dennis has come a long way since being rejected at St. Mary`s, where Southampton`s fortunes continue to struggle. But it is at least an honourable struggle and for that alone I give thanks for the close shave we had in failing to be seduced by Dennis and the Armani suit. Southampton, you see, don`t `do` Armani.