NICE TRY..

From our Crime Correspondent

An anxious wait has come to an end with the arrival on Snopper`s doormat of the results of his pathetic, lame duck, plaintive attempt to hoodwink Rother District Council.  A couple of weeks ago, Snopper`s unfailing disregard for the startlingly obvious resulted in him receiving a parking ticket from the Council, having failed to notice a ticket machine in their car park at Camber Sands.

He sent off his cheque for the damage, along with a letter explaining that he was an elderly pensioner struggling in these hard times to eek out a living for himself, Mrs. Snopper and their dog, Barney, and would they mind terribly if they could overlook his senior blunder and let him off.

The result arrived today courtesy of an official communication from the Council, pointing out the error of Snopper`s ways and `respectively (sic) drawing  attention` to the location of the ticket machine which I`m sure will come in handy if he ever returns to the scene of the crime.

He has, however, with his usual sang froid, taken a little comfort from his assertion that, "the Council`s understanding of the plight of the elderly seems to be in inverse proportion to their ability to spell."  Neither was he surprised that `respectfully` does not appear to feature in their vocabulary.

Nice try though.