PINK LADIES PROVE TOO MUCH FOR SNOPPER....

From our Golf Correspondent

Once again I have to report that Snopper`s latest sojourn onto the hallowed fairways of Poult Wood was cut short. His last outing ended in frustration after about 13 holes but yesterday I`m afraid he was reduced to `retiring` after the front nine.

Play was proving far too slow for a man in a hurry like our Snopper and things began to reach worrying proportions on the par four sixth which at one stage saw no less than five groups of players, including our hero and his partner, attempting to play various stages of the hole.

It was a damning indictment of the course management that, despite being seen elsewhere on the course, no wardens were seemingly interested in any attempt to solve the problem which was clearly escalating on the front nine.

It was eventually revealed that the problem was created by a group of lady golfers, seemingly dressed overall in pink like the one caught on film above, who were either reluctant to let other groups through or simply did not understand the basics of course etiquette. Either way, the constant delays became too much for Snopper and his partner and as he retired to the comfort of the clubhouse, Snopper was overheard to enquire what on earth pink clad lady golfers were doing being allowed out on the 18=hole course when there was a perfectly good 9-hole pitch and putt course across the road which would be much more in keeping with their abilities. They really should know their limits, he quizzically opined.

Pink lady golfers plot revenge

Quite astoundingly, Snopper has been invited to play at the Hever Castle Course next week, where - he is assured - no pink ladies should be in evidence, although he suspects the Anne Boleyn Course might prove more appropriate for his own headless chicken approach to the royal and ancient game.