THERE MAY BE BIGGER MUGS ELSEWHERE

"The likes of Jonathan Ross and Chris Moyles are not receiving salaries above the market rate, according to a review of how the BBC pays its top names.
The report, commissioned by the corporation's governing body, the BBC Trust, says in some cases stars get paid less than they would elsewhere."

So says the BBC`s own website today. Well, it would, wouldn`t it?

Let`s have a brief look at the small print. The first thing that strikes me is `commissioned by the corporation`s governing body,` which exposes the value of the report to the age old principle that he who commissions a report knows what answer the report should give. So it`s hardly independant then.

Next, `....not receiving salaries above the market rate,` as if the licence payer who is paying these grotesque salaries to some grotesque `personalities` is interested in `the market rate.` For myself as a reluctant payer of the BBC licence fee, I don`t care about market rates but I do care about the blatant squandering of money on people such as Jonathan Ross, who allegedly received £18million over three years, Graham Norton who reputedly gets £5million over two years and someone called Chris Moyles who gets almost a million each year.

Setting Moyles to one side - since I`ve never heard of him and have no idea what he might get up to - I find Ross to be arguably the least talented `personality` on tv, someone I try to avoid but has the annoying habit of creeping up on you when you least expect it. The Alex Ferguson of the airwaves perhaps - but only in receipt of an OBE so far, poor lamb.

Being charitable, however, Ross`s creeping up on one might be preferable to the antics of Graham Norton, whose one `talent` seems to be able to shout loudly and incoherently in an affected Irish accent. But at least he seems determined to stand by his man:-

As for Ross, he can`t sing, can`t dance and isn`t funny. So, what`s the answer to this profligacy being heaped on talentless numbskulls? Oh, of course, the answer is also in the small print which tells us that `in some cases stars get paid less than they would elsewhere.` Elsewhere it is then, for there they may find bigger mugs than the BBC take us for.