FORE PLAY ALERT!!!!!

Our Golf correspondent reports

Crowds are already forming galleries at the Poult Wood Golf Complex as they await the reappearance of Snopper following a six months absence from the fairways. I should explain two things. First, it`s no accident that the facilities at Poult Wood are known as a complex, because if ever a word summed up Snopper`s approach to the royal and ancient game, then `complex` it is. Second, perhaps my hasty reference to `fairways` above should be replaced by `rough patches,` since there will be plenty of those in this afternoon`s eagerly awaited return.

I am reliably informed that Snopper has spent an entire ten minutes cleaning his golf bag, shoes and other equipment and that he has managed to source some golf balls which were retrieved from a nearby course by a past Golden Retriever who he trained especially for the task. Snopper suspects that there may be a Rule governing the number of balls allowed to be carried. However, given his record, he may be entitled to cram as many balls as possible into his creaking golf bag. Rumour has it that there may be a trolley ban in force, due to recent bad weather, in which case the services of a ball carrier may be needed.

Still, he and his golfing friend can perhaps look forward to a nice cup of tea and a sit down half way round. A full report on this afternoon`s events may appear later....then again, it may not.