THE EAGLE HAS LANDED

Our Golf correspondent reports

As can be seen from our exclusive picture, Snopper is recovering from an exhausting round of golf at Poult Wood yesterday. He`s clearly in good hands, which he needs to be if he is to recover in time to pay a return visit to the course next week, in advance of which, a fitness test will obviously be necessary.

Yesterday`s round was - how can I describe it? - unexceptional. Snopper`s final score, give or take a few, just crept into three figures. However, the lost ball count was down to an encouraging five, four of which took place over the last three holes, when the effects of anno domini, avoirdupois and exhaustion saw balls being dispatched to assorted woodland and the occasional nearby public highway. By this time, Snopper had lost it big time.

The whole experience does, however, provide the perfect counterpoint to the tournament getting under weigh in Atlanta, Georgia. There, the world`s finest golfers converge onto a perfect course with perfect azaleas forming the perfect backdrop before the eventual winner is presented with a perfect green jacket in the perfect Butler Cabin. It`s just so predictable, charmless and boring.

Nothing remotely perfect about Snopper`s golfing exploits, of course, but perhaps therein lies its charm, its unpredictability and its endless fascination.