I KNOW I AM, I`M SURE I AM ..

So, despite these straightened times, HM Gov. is going to spend £2million on a `Happiness Index` to find out how happy we all are and what the things are that make us happy.  Deep joy.   What seems like yet another distraction from the real problems of our times, nevertheless the announcement is an own goal, as it encourages curmudgeons like me to respond with our normal mix of incredulity and bewilderment.

I`m convinced that it is merely a gimmick because had they asked the right question then things might emerge to really inform the policy makers.  It`s no good asking what makes us happy, they should be asking what makes us grumpy.   Here`s a list for starters:-

Portsmouth

Manchester United

Ann Widdecombe

Winters

TV shows that invoke humiliation

The M25

Onions

.......and on it goes.   But you get my drift.   I can`t imagine that HM Gov. will produce a piece of legislation that will ban the sale of onions in winter outside the M25 Corridor, consign Ann Widdecombe only ever to appear in TV shows that invoke humiliation or see Portsmouth or Manchester United relegated to the Zamaretto League.   So I think I`ll give it a miss, although I suspect the thing that will make me most unhappy is having to respond to a £2million `Happiness Index.`

In the meantime - and to be fair - I am blessed with good friends, a close family, a nice dog, reasonable health, a decent standard of living and a lifelong devotion to the Saints.  Happy?  I know I am, I`m sure I am.  Possibly.