PER ARDUA AD ASTRA..

From our Golf Correspondent

Finding it difficult these days to even remember what amnesia means, it was no surprise that Snopper almost forgot that he was due to play the 18-hole course at Poult Wood today. It was yesterday morning that he realised it and fending off his usual panic attack, he took his faithful retriever Barney for a walk around a nearby course, with the intention of replenishing his stock of golf balls, which had seriously been diminished recently. On his last outing, he lost no less than nine balls and so he felt he needed to make sure that he had an ample supply for today`s challenge. Between them they managed to reclaim 17 lost balls from the nearby course, which I shall refrain from naming just in case any legal action might come Snopper`s way, but even he thought that 17 balls might just be enough for today.

And what a day it was. No liberal rule interpretation , no creative accountancy, just a straight forward round of golf which saw Snopper card 96. Helped by a handicap that he stubbornly refuses to reduce from the maximum allowed of 28, Snopper`s net score for today came to 68. And the par for the course? Why, 68 of course. His card included three triple bogey 7s, a smattering of pars and an assortment of 5s and 6s - all very encouraging for our intrepid and ageing hero, who might just have been encouraged enough to begin to take things a little more seriously.

There are, however, a few things that might hold back any progress. His collection of clubs, for instance, has been with him for over 20 years and have seen better days, even though he only uses a few of them. Then there is his bag, of similar vintage, showing some unattractive smudges and patches and most of the zips don`t work any more either. Not surprising really as the pockets are crammed full with more balls than are surely allowed under the Royal and Ancient Rules. His trolley has problems too, in particular the fact that the tyres on the wheels come off quite often. So I won`t be surprised to see an improvement in his equipment and not before time.

But given the struggles he has had, his wonky knee, the arthritis in his wrist, the condition of his tools, the blustery, wet conditions for much of the afternoon and tee placements put as far back as possible by a clearly malevolent greenkeeper, Snopper`s score marks something of a personal milestone for him. For others, of course, such a score would be laughable, but then they are the fortunate ones who may possess an inherent talent for the game which means they don`t have to go through quite so much ardua to arrive at their personal astra.