TALENT OVERLOOKED?

So, Carol Ann Duffy has become the very first woman to be appointed Poet Laureate after no less than 341 years of Poet Laureatness. Congratulations go to her for this honour which, it seems, she was a little uncertain of accepting, but did so `because they hadn`t had a woman,` But whilst I`m pleased for this 53 year-old Scottish mother within a lesbian relationship which has since ended, I`m not quite convinced that she was the most deserving.

That said, I like her style - she will be giving the £5750 a year `salary` to the Poets Society, so that it goes back into the business and she has asked for the 600 bottles of sherry that goes with the job to be handed over up front, in stark contrast to outgoing Poet Laureate, Andrew Motion, who has been in the job for ten years and still hasn`t touched a drop.

For all that, I am deeply saddened that Pam ("I wish I`d looked after me teeth") Ayres continues to be overlooked and it`s such a pity that Spike Milligan is no longer with us. His epic poems, such as:-

"There are holes in the sky

Where the rain comes in.

But they`re ever so small,

That`s why rain is thin."

.......or the even more touching

"Said Hamlet to Ophelia,

`I'll draw a sketch of thee,

What kind of pencil shall I use?

2B or not 2B?`"

- would surely have made him a strong candidate and I think that, for all her talent, Carol Ann might struggle to emulate work like that. No wonder the picture above shows her about to thump me round the head with one of her tomes.