A MUG`S GAME...

I got a bill yesterday from the TV Licencing Authority `inviting` me to renew my tv licence for the princely sum of £142.50p. It was accompanied by loads of information about how I could pay but, more threateningly, what might happen if I did not.

"It is important that you renew your tv licence by 30 April 2009. If you don`t, it will be illegal for you to watch or record tv programmes at this address as they`re being shown on tv. Whether you use a tv set, digital box, computer or mobile phone, it will still be illegal," it said. So, I suppose I had better splash out the £142.50.

But I will do so under protest. I don`t like the compulsion of it, the KZ6090 SMITH, W, 1984 attitude, the absence of choice. I don`t have much time for a lot of the BBC - especially the flagrant squandering of mine and other people`s money on excesses like taxis (see illustration above,) Jonathan Ross, Russell Brand, Graham Norton, BBC Alba and today`s further example of flying reporters out to Italy to bring on the spot non-stop reports about the earthquake there, when there were perfectly adequate `resources` already permanently stationed there.

And speaking of Jonathan Ross, it is truly unbelievable that, since the BBC has been fined £150,000 by Ofcom for Ross and Brand`s well publicised transgressions, then the fine will actually be paid by mugs like me who pay the compulsory licence fees. Now, if I could be bothered, I would withhold a few pence from the £142.50 just as a symbolic protest against this nonsense, especially now that Ross himself has refused to pay the fine himself.

But then I would just get a knock on the door and be carted off to the colonies for not taking heed of the threat contained in the renewal notice. Now if I was a Member of Parliament, it wouldn`t bother me, for I could charge the cost up to my allowances and get some other mug to pay it for me. Sometimes, I wonder whether it`s all worth it.