Sorry about the gif, but it does rather sum up my feelings today. Ever since the lockdown began and the consequential postponement of football matches, I confess that I wasn`t too bothered. As a life long Saints fan I would happily have settled for the Premier League to have finished then, leaving Southampton in a comfortably numb 14th spot.
I also enjoyed the fact that, on the match days that never happened, I was relieved not to have the stress, the anxiety, the anguish and mental health issues associated with being a Saints fan whenever the team play a game. It`s a default condition of Saints fans to assume the worst, to expect disappointment, to worry whether the club is going to survive another Premier League season. And I`ve often wondered where all those emotions come from, what they are for, what do they represent? Are they genuine fears for the club? Are they genuine fears that defeat and/or relegation might reflect badly on the city the football club represents? Or is it more personal in that one`s own `status` is somehow diminished in the eyes of others?
Anyway, it was a bit of a worry when the Premier League recommenced its business in the last day or so and the Saints were drawn to play away at Norwich City last evening before an expectant world wide audience from 171 countries. And, indeed, all those anxieties came back to haunt me once again. At my age I could do without it but I tell myself I`ll be alright once I grow up. So, true to form, I timed my dog walk last evening to enable me to avoid having to watch the game on TV - it was a lovely evening, the walkies was fine but all the way round I was wondering what the outcome might be when I got home and heard the result.
I needn`t have worried. The Saints romped to a convincing 3-0 win and have therefore pretty much ensured their stay in the looking glass world of the Premier League for another season - one more win from the remaining eight matches should see us home and my blood pressure restored to manageable proportions. The consequence is, of course, having asked myself whether I want to give up on football, the Premier League and Southampton FC in particular, I shrugged my shoulders, said to myself, "Well, alright then" and returned to being seduced by the uncertainty of it all and the strange loyalty, not to say affection I have for the club that chose me as a supporter back in 1946.
I also enjoyed the fact that, on the match days that never happened, I was relieved not to have the stress, the anxiety, the anguish and mental health issues associated with being a Saints fan whenever the team play a game. It`s a default condition of Saints fans to assume the worst, to expect disappointment, to worry whether the club is going to survive another Premier League season. And I`ve often wondered where all those emotions come from, what they are for, what do they represent? Are they genuine fears for the club? Are they genuine fears that defeat and/or relegation might reflect badly on the city the football club represents? Or is it more personal in that one`s own `status` is somehow diminished in the eyes of others?
Anyway, it was a bit of a worry when the Premier League recommenced its business in the last day or so and the Saints were drawn to play away at Norwich City last evening before an expectant world wide audience from 171 countries. And, indeed, all those anxieties came back to haunt me once again. At my age I could do without it but I tell myself I`ll be alright once I grow up. So, true to form, I timed my dog walk last evening to enable me to avoid having to watch the game on TV - it was a lovely evening, the walkies was fine but all the way round I was wondering what the outcome might be when I got home and heard the result.
I needn`t have worried. The Saints romped to a convincing 3-0 win and have therefore pretty much ensured their stay in the looking glass world of the Premier League for another season - one more win from the remaining eight matches should see us home and my blood pressure restored to manageable proportions. The consequence is, of course, having asked myself whether I want to give up on football, the Premier League and Southampton FC in particular, I shrugged my shoulders, said to myself, "Well, alright then" and returned to being seduced by the uncertainty of it all and the strange loyalty, not to say affection I have for the club that chose me as a supporter back in 1946.
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