GOLF BUNGLES HIT SNOPPER

(From Our Sports Correspondent)

Despite Snopper`s encouraging return to the fairways a couple of weeks ago, reports of his latest sortie have just reached us and it seems that not only the standard of his golf but also his on-course etiquette took a dramatic downturn in front of a packed gallery of three people at the Poult Wood Golf Complex earlier this week.

A front nine of 58 followed by a more creditable 45 on the return leg saw a total of 103 - but taking his generous, self-calculated handicap of 28 into account, Snopper could still claim a round of 75 - a mere 8 over par for the 18-hole course. His strategy for `value-for-money` golf by hitting the ball as many times as possible is still paying dividends and it is with some reluctance that he will seek to reduce his score in the months to come (he only plays during nice, warm weather, of course.)

His round was sprinkled with three 9s and an 8 but also saw no less than five pars - he has clearly been working on maintaining the inconsistency which is so vital to his game.

The main talking point occurred on the 12th green, however, where Snopper - always the perfect gentleman - held the flagstick in the hole whilst his partner putted out. The putt was holed and off they went to the 13th tee only for Snopper to be seen still holding the flagstick - to the bafflement of the puzzled onlookers.

"These things happen," said Snopper, "and when you`re a highly-tuned athlete focussing on the task in hand, it`s easy to perform seemingly unconnected tasks. But I held up my hand at the end of the day, drew a line in the sand and moved on."

Such professionalism.