WHERE`S A SPADE WHEN YOU NEED ONE ?

I guess most of us have a phobia about something, why I even know someone who is a Europhobe.   As for me, I have a thing about snakes.   It`s called Ophidiophobia and when I did some `research` about it I was heartened to discover that about a third of all adult humans are ophiodiophobic, making this the most common reported phobia of all.   So it`s not just me that needs help then.

Recent studies suggest that humans may have an innate reaction to snakes, which proved vital to the survival of the human race as the reaction allowed dangerous threats such as snakes to be immediately identified.   Hmmm.   Whilst that may be true, my own case goes back to when, as a very young child, my Mother and I were walking along a track on Hardy`s Egdon Heath when she suddenly ran off, leaving me bewildered as she screamed, "Snake!!"   

Be that as it may, I truly do have a fear of snakes and I cannot for the life of me understand why they - and particularly our only venomous snake, the adder - are now a protected species under some daft pinko legislation.   So yesterday I went walking with Barney around the edge of a pretty large open space only to see one or two of our reptilian friends enjoying the Spring sunshine, as adders do.

I managed to get Barney out of harms way and high-tailed it myself before the cold sweat broke out.   I reported the incident to the people responsible for the `nature reserve` as I thought they should be aware of what`s lurking in their undergrowth - insurance, health and safety and all that - and to be fair they are going to put up some notices to draw attention to the problem.

However, I confess to cursing inwardly to myself that on the odd occasion when walking with my dog that I could have done with a spade, there wasn`t one to be seen.   I`m convinced that perhaps a strategically placed rack of spades would be of much  greater use to casual walkers like me and the rest of the third of the population than some law-abiding advisory notices will ever be.  And of course the rack of spades would have to bear a notice drawing attention to the fact that adders are a protected species and  on no account should the spades be used for slicing their heads off. Anyway, I won`t be going there again in a hurry.