AND I THOUGHT I NEEDED HELP..

It`s been an interesting couple of days for (`Sir`) Alex Ferguson, the Manchester United manager.  First he was fined £12,000 by the Football Association for the comments he made concerning an assistant referee at a recent game when the hapless official failed to give Manchester United a penalty that never was.   Now this is not the first time that Ferguson has been up before the beak and in receipt of a hefty fine and I doubt it will be the last.

Next he had a right go at England Under-21 Manager, Stuart ("Psycho") Pearce for disclosing to the world that Manchester United defender Phil Jones had been suffering from a bout of shingles which kept him out of the recent Under-21 game.   Ferguson was claiming `medical confidentiality` but I haven`t heard him make a similar complaint when things like groin strains, hamstrings and dead legs have seen players on the treatment table and become public knowledge.   Maybe he doesn`t class these things as `medical` and therefore shingles is a real affliction or some kind of disease that needs to be kept quiet.

Then there is his current complaint that Manchester United should not have been expected to play Everton yesterday (Sunday) as they have to go to Madrid to play Real in a Champions League game on Wednesday.   Real, on the other hand, played on Saturday and thus have one extra day to prepare.

Now Ferguson is, like me, in his 70s but unlike me he has yet to embrace the qualities of restraint and modesty which, after all his achievements as a football manager, he would  be entitled to assume.  After all, he`s got his statue, a stand at Old Trafford named after him, a dynasty of patronage for his sons and his brother and you would think it was time for a little humility, a more dignified acceptance that his place in the history of the parallel universe of football is secure.   His problem, of course, is that he finds it impossible to change his `management style` - I use the term loosely - which has always been based on intimidation, rant and disregard for authority.

Ferguson is no stranger to these pages, for I have had cause to criticise his character and his behaviour more often than has been good for me.   It has become something of an obsession, I grant you, and one which has made me pause and reflect on whether I might need some counselling, some professional help to exorcise this tempestuous Caledonian oaf from my consciousness.   

But now I`m not so sure.   His ravings in just the last few days have convinced me that it`s not me that needs the help, although I could perhaps do with a little care and attention since my beloved Saints tonked United`s main rivals on Saturday and virtually handed the Premier League title to the infernal Ferguson.   It seems that even in one of Southampton`s more agreeable moments, the dark, oppressive shadow of Manchester United is inescapable.   Maybe it just serves me right?