THE SECOND WORD WAS `OFF`

Strange how quickly things and moods can change.   Just two weeks ago we were relishing the glorious vistas of the south west coast path - towering Cornish cliffs, crashing waves, bright, brilliant sunshine.   Today is wet, dull and Halloween.

I suppose I resent the intrusion of Americana into the traditions and customs of this country and it seems to me that Halloween, far from being the All Hallows Day it once was, is now reduced to being yet another imported commercial device, this time to seduce parents into spending loads of dosh on rubbishy costumes and assorted tat so that their little ones don`t feel deprived.

Now in past years I employed a cunning plan to thwart the unwelcome knocks on my door.   In response to the demand of `trick or treat` I would simply ask if I could have the treat please, which seemed to have the desired effect of confusing and disarming my small visitors.   It was merely a delaying tactic, of course, as I invited them to take their pick from the assorted goodies I then offered them. 

This year, being concerned that this tactic may have been rumbled, I suggested I made a big cardboard notice comprising just two words and stuck it on our front door.   The second word was to have been `OFF.`   However, this idea was outlawed, so as I write I am on edge waiting for the dreaded knock on the door and the requirement to be nice.   To be fair, that shouldn`t be too difficult because, you see, I`m all heart really.  Honest.