MIND HOW YOU GO..

I see that serial buffoon `Lord` Prescott is considering standing as Police Commissioner in his native Humberside.   The Commissioners will be elected to office as part of the Tory flagship policy of making the police more accountable.   It might all be very laudable but frankly if people like Prescott are going to be in charge of policing the we`d all better mind how we go.   I`m not too sure that, like elected Mayors, the idea of elected Police Commissioners is one that will be taken too seriously by the electorate.   After all, wasn`t it in Middlesbrough or some similar northern outpost where a monkey was elected Mayor? 

Anyway, I imagine that Prescott is busy rehearsing his routine and trying desperately not to mangle the English language too much.  "Sorry, sir, but you can`t park there."   "I must ask you to move along."   "Nothing to see here."   And all the usual police phrases could take on a whole new meaning once Prescott gets hold of them - if he ever does.

But, like donors to the Royal Yacht appeal, I again have to question the motives behind Prescott`s latest ambition.   He may claim he has a wealth of experience in public office and that he will bring a `personality` to the role although his past record of assorted misdemeanors, such as punching bystanders, might go against him.   But I suspect he might be attracted by the £100,000 salary to go with the £350 a day he can trouser as a member of the House of Lords so as to maintain the lifestyle befitting one steeped in socialist traditions.

There`s always been something of the Les Dawson about Prescott.   In a way they were both actors - Dawson an honest intelligent man playing the fool, Prescott a fool trying desperately to appear honest and intelligent.   I suggest the good folk of Humberside deserve better.