ONCE YOU`VE GOT IT..

From our Golf Correspondent

Once in a while it`s a pleasure to report some good news regarding Snopper`s golfing career.   Yesterday saw his return after a seven months absence to the peaceful surroundings of Hever Castle.   The sun shone, a gentle breeze blew, the course as ever in pristine condition to welcome the new season and, of course, Snopper was able to reveal his new Cougar golf bag to an expectant audience.  

Now, Hever Castle is a bit posh and the quality of `equipment` on offer in the club shop and on display on the course is of the highest standard.   With this in mind, Snopper`s ploy of buying a £29.99 golf bag from Argos seems to have paid off, for he was right in his assumption that no-one, but no-one else at Hever Castle would also be sporting an Argos Cougar bag.   His next purchase must surely be a new trolley, as the one he has was bought for him by his loving wife over 20 years ago from Woolworths, so it`s hardly surprising that the wheels have developed a tendancy to fall off now and again.  But, one thing at a time.

As to Snopper`s golf, well this is the good news, for he produced a more than encouraging first round on the Princes Course, where he carded 6,6,5,5,5,5,7 and 5.   Now those of you with a keen eye will have spotted that only eight of the nine holes are recorded.   That`s because, having lost three balls on the fearsome, lakebound par 3 sixth, Snopper decided enough was enough, drew a line under it and moved on to the seventh.

Now for anyone else, the scores he did manage may not be quite up to the mark but for Snopper they represent a reasonable start to his 2011 campaign and he left the course quietly pleased with himself.   In a post match interview, he was asked how he had managed to get back in the groove after not picking up a club for seven months and, perhaps predictably, he replied, "Once you`ve got it, you never lose it."

All well and good provided, of course, that Snopper ever had it to begin with.