ONCE MORE INTO THE BREACH..

Our Golf Correspondent reports.....

After an absence of some seven months, it seems the Spring weather and the return of the sun has encouraged Snopper to re-enter the pressure cooker world of the Royal and Ancient game.   At getting on for 72, he might have been forgiven if he had decided to hang up his spikes and call it a day, but there is a deep underlying complulsion that forces the Snoppers of this world to rise to the challenge, however daunting, intimidating and unlikely that challenge may be.

His re-entry might have been a touch sooner.   However, with his clubs having been consigned to the shed over a long, dark, freezing winter, even a cursory inspection of his equipment revealed the need for new investment.   Indeed, towards the end of last season, the condition of his golf bag was beginning to attract a deal of criticism from opponents and the galleries.   So he thought he had better make a start and where better than by replacing the errant bag, whose zips had all become stuck so that Snopper became quite unaware of much of the contents.

After much research and in the absence of any sponsorship, he opted for the Cougar bag, as illustrated.   Now, Snopper must be taking his golf seriously, with a renewed determination to achieve at least a semblence of respectability as he plunders the courses of mid-Kent, for he has invested no less than £29.99 in his new bag - a princely sum for an ageing pensioner struggling to survive on a fixed income in these harsh economic times.

It might be called Cougar, however any resemblance between that elegant, athletic, formidable predator and the shambling figure who will lug the bag around this summer is the ultimate in illusion.