HERE WE GO AGAIN..

From our Golf Correspondent

After an absence of six months, yesterday Snopper once again took up his clubs and ventured on to the hallowed fairways of the Princes Course at Hever Castle deep in the countryside of West Kent.

Prior to making his entrance, he had of course spent, oh, ten minutes or so making sure that his equipment was in tip top condition. Over the winter, he had been toying with the idea of buying himself a new golf bag and possibly a trolley, but it seemed that Mrs. Snopper had other priorities, so this idea became another job for the back burner. `C`est la vie,` he sighed.

As I have reported in earlier dispatches, a good deal of Snopper`s winter was taken up grazing the deserted rough of nearby courses so that he could restock his supply of golf balls for the battles that lie ahead. He must have `acquired` close on 200 balls of varying quality and just as well, for yesterday saw him lose no less than seven, but having found two he was, in fact, only five down on the day. Only 195 to go then.

It would have been pleasant to report at least some modest success on Snopper`s part yesterday but, sadly, in the immortal words of John Terry, it just wasn`t meant to be. In fact, Snopper failed to record a score, having walked away from a particularly vicious par three which is nearly all water and having landed most of his lost balls in the lake. However, on an encouraging note, his first tee shot on the first hole saw the ball sail a good distance and land in the middle of the fairway some 200 yards away. Nonetheless, I feel obliged to report that, after that, the rest of the afternoon saw the inevitable downward spiral of decline.

But as so often in sport, show me a good loser and I`ll show you a loser and, in the final analysis, Snopper is at least consistent in that respect.