RAZOR SHARP...

I bought some new razor blades recently, those Gillette ones that have about five blades all in one promising a comfortable shaving experience. They were pretty expensive but I was encouraged by the notice on the packet that suggested that they would `last up to three months.`

It got me wondering about a couple of things. The first is that surely their claim depends entirely on the strength of the beard, the frequency of shaving, what kind of shaving foam or gel you use and a host of other factors. So I took it to mean that the three months was the best case scenario. Then I wondered why on earth we bother to shave at all. After all, countless millions have never bothered and some of my best friends are bearded wonders. But I`ve always done it and it`s too late now to change the habit of a lifetime (well, since I`ve been growing whiskers anyway.)

I well recall my National Service days, which started with an early morning inspection to see if we were conforming to `good order and military discipline.` One of the items for regular inspection was whether we had shaved properly. One day, I must have been a bit pushed for time and so didn`t shave very carefully, leaving a few fluffy tell-tale bristles round the back of an ear.

"Have you shaved today, lad?" bawled the drill sergeant, about 3 centimeters from my face.
"Yes, sergeant," I tremulously replied.
"Did you use a mirror, lad?"
"Yes, sergeant."
"Well, next time use a ****ing razor!!"

There were times when I could hardly keep pace with the razor sharp wit.