ONCE MORE INTO THE BREACH...

From our Golf Correspondent

After weeks of enforced absence from the fairways of the world due to inclement weather, short days and general indolence, Snopper emerged for his first round of golf at Hever Castle earlier this week.

Armed with a brand spanking new driver which came as a welcome Christmas present, he marched onto the first tee only to find that, due to drainage work, the hole had been reduced to a par three, which meant that the new driver didn`t see the light of day until the second tee. And there we witnessed one of those endearing moments that seem to populate Snopper`s golfing career. You see, in all the excitement and nervousness surrounding his first venture onto the course in 2009, he had quite overlooked the need to remove the cellophane cover from the clubhead. This task took a few minutes with Snopper breaking the odd nail in the process. Even then he couldn`t remove the sticky bit which covered the sweet spot, so he decided to leave it there so he could claim the ball had a sticky contact, which was why it careered off in the direction of a nearby road, never to be seen again.

After that, in truth, things settled down very nicely with Snopper finding the green from the tee on the par three third and generally playing better than he had any right to expect. OK, so a few of the Royal and Ancient Rules may have been liberally interpreted but his first round of the year was encouraging and hugely enjoyable both for our hero and the galleries, who will no doubt follow his progress which, in keeping with the times, will assuredly move from recession to depression as the year drifts by.