RADIO GA-GA......

On the drive home last night, from Southampton`s unlikely 1-0 win over Blackpool (more on that story later) I switched the car radio on. Sometimes I listen to Radio Hampshire`s post-match programme which is improbably named `The Third Half.` Last night`s edition did not disappoint as a succession of callers vented their knowledgeable spleens with an assortment of opinions concerning events at St. Mary`s Stadium.

Fortunately, the signal from Radio Hampshire runs out of puff round about Winchester, at which point I start channel hopping in the hope of finding an agreeable station to keep me company on my long journey home to deepest Kent. I listened to Radio 4 for a while, tried Radios 1 and 2, but in the end opted for Radio Five Live, where there was a commentary on the Premier League game between Derby County and Chelsea, which Chelsea eventually won 2-0.

But what really intrigued me was the programme which followed the football commentary. It was `606` - a radio phone-in programme whereby people can ring in (0800 909 693 if you are tempted) to express their opinions on events at football matches which had taken place yesterday. It is hosted by a jovial chap, one Alan Green, who whilst being never short of an opinion is apparently never wrong when his opinion is challenged.

Anyway, people ring in, some send texts, some e-mail with their comments, all of which follow the same predictable pattern. "My team were wonderful today, Alan, so I`m just ringing in so you and your listener know that I am associated with a winning team and am therefore wonderful myself." Or- especially from the north-east - "Newcastle/Sunderland/Middlesbrough are rubbish, Alan, so I`m just ringing in so that you and your listener know that I`m nothing to do with them and therefore not associated with any kind of failure." And so on.....

It is truly Radio Ga-ga, inhabited by numbskulls who have nothing better to do than try to convince a deeply uninterested world in their harebrained opinions. To that extent, it was entertaining, but I was left wondering what compels people to expose themselves to public gaze when they would be better advised to keep their opinions to themselves. Still, it keeps Alan Green going, I suppose, and we should all be thankful for that. Possibly.

When `606` had come to an end, it seemed to coincide with my leaving the video game which the M25 has become; somehow, it symbolised leaving two sets of madness at the same time and I`m not at all sure which of the two I was more happy to bid goodnight.

Radio, like football and driving, ain`t what it used to be....at least on Five Live.