HALLOWEEN GOODY PLOY WORKS A TREAT......

This could equally be called `One down - two to go` as Halloween has finally disappeared into the downcast autumn sunset. The next two occasions to see the back of are Bonfire Night and Christmas, with all the rampant commercialism and total disregard for their original meaning that surrounds them. But more on those twin threats to what remains of my sanity later. Let`s first have a word about Halloween.

As a boy, growing up in more austere times in a small community I don`t ever remember `doing` Halloween - Bonfire Night, yes and Christmas of course...but never Halloween. I suspect it has grown over the years as a result of the infiltration of American `culture` (I use the word advisedly) and the opportunity it presents for the chancers of this world to make a quick buck on the back of something by which children can put pressure on parents.

In chez Snopper, ever fearful of reprisals unless I conform with what the world laughingly expects of me, Mrs. Snopper purchased a very large bag of assorted sweets and chocolate bars and laid them out most invitingly in a basket, which `trick or treaters` were invited to dip into instead of keying my car or attaching stink bombs to our front door. Seemed like a good ploy.

We had only two visits last evening - my local reputation for raising grumpiness to an art form is clearly spreading. I have no proof but I suspect they were from the same gang coming around for another dip into Mrs. Snopper`s goody basket. I managed to confuse one gang who, when shouting `trick or treat` in my ear, were taken aback at my reply, "I`ll have the treat, please."

But it`s an ill wind that blows no good and the upshot is that the goody basket is still crammed with goodies, which we will enjoy munching our way through in the next few days. A satisfactory conclusion to a deeply unsatisfactory event.