IN PRAISE OF HAIRDRESSERS

Yesterday, I paid my regular five-weekly visit to my local stylist - Chris of Larkfield, who once sat alongside Nicky Clarke, who could do with a good short back and sides himself. As usual, my visit turned out to be the rare pleasure it has become over the years. As I sat there, draped in her shroud with bits of very grey hair plunging floorwards, it occurred to me just what a wonderful service the hairdressers of the world provide. To stand on their feet all day, they must be supremely fit and with all the snipping they do, they must have wrists of steel.

They have my undying admiration for not only do they transform one`s persona with deft touches of their scissors, but they also provide a stimulating conversation, which means it becomes as much a social occasion as a much needed makeover. Now, it can`t be easy to maintain the highest professional standards of snipping whilst at the same time avoiding being bored silly by the preumably predictable, repetitive and no doubt often anodyne subjects under discussion. Some months ago, Chris actually produced a board on which she had written the list of subjects up for discussion that day - holidays, football, the weather being pretty high on the agenda.

They do this day in and day out - and it must take either a very compassionate personality or an iron will to resist the temptation to turn the scissors into an instant lethal weapon and bring the whole ritual to an end. Not that such thoughts would enter Chris`s head, of course - she is much too nice for that. Isn`t she? Isn`t she? Please tell me she is.

On the folicle front, the ravages of time are catching up with me - I have developed an ozone-layer-type hole on top which seems to be getting larger, despite my attempts to reduce carbon emissions. I am what you might (if you are in any way sympathetic) describe as `distinguished.` In other words, grey and thin on top. I suppose the day will come when I may need Chris`s services no more, which I will miss and regret. For Chris, however, it might herald the demise of yet another discussion about holidays......football.......the weather.......................