SPOILT FOR CHOICE...
Don`t know about you but already, with three weeks to go, I`ve had enough of the General Election campaigning. There`s the old saying about statistics, of course - you know the one - lies, damned lies and statistics - and the more I hear from our campaigning politicians the more it seems there are lies, damned lies and election campaigns.
We seem to be spoilt for choice this time round between a mixed assortment of party leaders. The Labour Party is rumoured to be led by Jeremy Corbyn. Now I would have thought that anyone who was once the alleged paramour of Diane Abbott is automatically barred from holding any responsible position.
Then there is one Tim Farron, who found himself leader of the Liberal Democrats who are so democratic that they want to reverse the democratic decision of the majority of voters and crawl back on bended knee into the European Union. Oh, and they want to legalise cannabis. Of course they do. Maybe when Tim`s gap year is over he`ll think differently.
The Green Party always intrigue me. Until last year they had a Leader, Natalie Bennett, who was Australian and barely comprehensible. She apparently supports polygamy and doing away with the monarchy whilst the current leadership want to legalise prostitution. Sounds par for the green course. The current leadership is held jointly by Caroline Lucas and Jonathan Bartley, presumably because the membership couldn`t decide which one to choose or maybe they were worried about inflicting mental health issues on whichever one was rejected. Bartley`s claim to fame seems to be that he had an uncle who was married to Deborah Kerr, whereas Lucas unfathomably escaped prosecution for obstructing the highway during the Balcombe anti- fracking demonstrations a couple of years ago.
Which leaves the Conservatives, UKIP and any other even more bonkers parties that may emerge from the woodwork. The Tories are now led by Theresa May, who seems to be Maggie Thatcher without the handbag (yet) and UKIP are currently led by Paul Nuttall who reminds me more and more of Peter Kay. Their mission is surely accomplished, job done and our democratically arrived at decision to leave the EU can surely be left in the hands of David Davis, Liam Fox, Boris Johnson and their chums. Well, it can can`t it?
I`m thinking of starting The Football Party, led by Matthew Le Tissier, when everything will be decided over 90 minutes plus stoppage time at Wembley. It might be just as sensible..........
Then there is one Tim Farron, who found himself leader of the Liberal Democrats who are so democratic that they want to reverse the democratic decision of the majority of voters and crawl back on bended knee into the European Union. Oh, and they want to legalise cannabis. Of course they do. Maybe when Tim`s gap year is over he`ll think differently.
The Green Party always intrigue me. Until last year they had a Leader, Natalie Bennett, who was Australian and barely comprehensible. She apparently supports polygamy and doing away with the monarchy whilst the current leadership want to legalise prostitution. Sounds par for the green course. The current leadership is held jointly by Caroline Lucas and Jonathan Bartley, presumably because the membership couldn`t decide which one to choose or maybe they were worried about inflicting mental health issues on whichever one was rejected. Bartley`s claim to fame seems to be that he had an uncle who was married to Deborah Kerr, whereas Lucas unfathomably escaped prosecution for obstructing the highway during the Balcombe anti- fracking demonstrations a couple of years ago.
Which leaves the Conservatives, UKIP and any other even more bonkers parties that may emerge from the woodwork. The Tories are now led by Theresa May, who seems to be Maggie Thatcher without the handbag (yet) and UKIP are currently led by Paul Nuttall who reminds me more and more of Peter Kay. Their mission is surely accomplished, job done and our democratically arrived at decision to leave the EU can surely be left in the hands of David Davis, Liam Fox, Boris Johnson and their chums. Well, it can can`t it?
I`m thinking of starting The Football Party, led by Matthew Le Tissier, when everything will be decided over 90 minutes plus stoppage time at Wembley. It might be just as sensible..........
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