IS IT SAFE TO COME OUT NOW?

Having shown great  initiative over the past few days I can report that I managed to avoid just about anything to do with the royal wedding - couldn`t bring myself to watch any of of it on TV although it was hard to avoid things like news bulletins, highlights programmes and a seemingly endless array of references to the great event even on programmes that were supposedly nothing to do with it. 

And for the first time in years I refused to buy a Sunday newspaper in the hope of avoiding the 32-page supplements and all the other fawning nonsense that surrounds royal occasions.  Well, there wasn`t going to be  much football to read about which was a pity as I thought the achievements of teams such as Thatcham Town in the FA Vase final and Brackley in the FA Trophy final deserved at least a bit of coverage.

So I wondered if this morning it was safe to come out now, only to discover a couple of yet more troubling bits of nonsense.  We now have a Duchess of Sussex - yeah, right - who has pronounced herself to be "a woman and a feminist."   Well I knew about the first bit but the second bit made me wonder whether I should not declare to the world that I am a man and a masculinist.   Or maybe I should crawl back under my stone until it really has all died down.