SCRUMPING - A LOSING BATTLE..

I sense a conspiracy.   Over the years living in what used to be known as The Garden of England (it`s arguably now the Compost Heap thanks to motorways, high speed rail links, channel tunnels and a preponderance of urban sprawl, unacceptable ribbon development and overintensification of the use of development sites, to quote the planners) it used to be possible to live quite healthily on the discarded or unwanted vestiges of orchard crops.

Cherries, Victoria plums, assorted apples, both cooking and eating, conference pears, all used to be grown within a radius of a few miles from home and, always sticking to the official  public footpaths, of course, I along with our successive golden retrievers, Barney being the latest,  used to go on our walkies and were constantly surprised at how often various assorted fruits used to find their own way into a plastic carrier bag that I always had with me in case of emergencies.

I don`t think the farmers minded too much - after all, the percentage of fruit `lost` by this miracle of coincidence was almost incalculably small and, in any case given my keen eye for health and safety concerns, I always looked upon it as an excercise in helping to keep the public footpaths clear of unforseen underfoot hazards to passing pedestrians.

But in the last couple of years, things have changed.   First the Victoria plums went, to be replaced by some twiggy looking young trees that have labels on them saying `Galaxy.`   Then the Bramley apple orchards went, closely followed by the cherry orchard and already there are serried ranks of polytunnels springing up, presumably for growing`soft` fruit, such as the Wimbledon bound strawberries.   The pears are still there - or at least they were until they were picked clean, leaving just a few non-EU conforming misshapen stragglers which aren`t too appealing to the discerning connoisseur.   Beggars and choosers though.

It must be a sign of the times - farmers coming to the conclusion that the only way to stop plastic carrier bag carrying pedestrians legitimately using the public rights of way who just happened to coincide with the loss of a few bits of fruit, was to rip up the orchards and stick in polytunnels.

But the downside for us rambling dog walkers is that the bounties of the Kent countryside are declining just at the time when pensioners like myself are struggling to survive on a fixed income during the most severe economic climate since scrumping began.

I think I`m right about the conspiracy - where`s Captain Swing when you need him?