NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT..
Our Medical Consultant reports

I`m often asked by worried pensioners about the problems of getting older and I was recently  contacted by Mr. Snopper to ask whether it`s worth him carrying on with the health checks he has been having regularly up to now.  My answer was yes, of course, keep on having those vital checks because, as we grow older, so the chances increase of things going wrong, bits falling off and with loss of memory it`s easy to forget to make appointments and stuff like that.

So I was pleased to hear that Mr. Snopper has now just about finished his round of annual check-ups.   Reminiscent of MoTs for cars, he first saw his optician, who bears a striking resemblance to Nicole Kidman and it seems that Mr. Snopper`s eyesight is still as keen as ever, no doubt fuelled by his determination to feast his eyes once more on the fair Ms. Optician - an event he looks forward to each year.

Next, he had an audience with the Practice Nurse at the local GP clinic, who took a blood sample to test his cholesterol level and the functions of certain vital organs, along with a blood pressure test which proved `satisfactory.`  The results of the blood test won`t be known until next week, when they are returned from the Cavendish Laboratory in Cambridge.   This afternoon, he visited his dentist, who can`t be named for legal reasons, and apart from the odd filling, wash and brush-up, came away unscathed for another six months.  

 So you see, there`s nothing to it really.  After all, if Mr. Snopper can do it at his age, then so can anyone.    So I urge all my elderly readers to stop worrying, get a life and just be glad that there are people out there who can help you drift almost unwittingly into the dreamworld of your days which you will find are increasingly filled with delusion, bewilderment and a dull sense of detachment from the world around us.   Who could ask for anything more?