NOT NECESSARILY..

Sad to report that last night`s dress rehearsal for Barney`s Gold Award test didn`t go too well. He and his fellow Golden Retriever hopefuls are put through their paces on a nice big open field. The trouble with that is there are too many distractions and temptations affecting their concentration.

Barney`s biggest temptation is that he `performs` alongside a very comely young lady Retriever named Summer and at every opportunity the two of them resort to cavorting in amourous playful bouts, rather than sticking to the coreography required for the test. As both Barney and Summer are blissfully unaware of the fact that Barney has been `seen to,` their romantic ambitions must surely represent the ultimate triumph of hope over expectation. So, in acknowledgement of their current shortcomings and the certainty that they will be found to be `not ready,` the test has been put off for a couple of weeks and will now take place at a neutral venue where the temptation to run off and have a good scamper may be reduced.

The real frustration is that Barney, Summer and the rest of their aspirant chums can all actually do all of the manoeuvres needed to pass the test, they just don`t necessarily do them all at the right time and in the right order. I sat next to the winsome Rachel last evening, watching from a respectful distance as our respective canine charges were attempting to control their urges and it occurred to me that the whole thing was reminiscent of Morecambe and Wise trying to convince the world that they could come to terms with Grieg`s piano concerto. If you have ten minutes to spare and like me enjoy pure comedy with no swearing, have a look at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vP8TUe993uo&feature=related. You`ll see what I mean.