SUMMERTIME BLUES

From our Golf Correspondent

This was the scene at the windswept and rain lashed Hever Castle Golf Club yesterday where Snopper was to have taken part in another toe-curling round of exhibition golf.

Mid summer in the sunkissed south east corner of England and one is perhaps entitled to expect the occasional decent day. The forecast had promised rain and, to be fair, it arrived in bucketfulls, along with the keen south west gale driving it along over the manicured greens and fairways of this picturesque and historic course.

Now, in anticipation of a good day`s golf, Snopper had spent most of last Sunday morning in his garage giving his equipment the mother of all makeovers. Each and every club in his bag was lovingly cleaned, polished and put back in its rightful place in the bag which itself had also been given the once over. Even his trolley had been dusted down and liberal quantities of WD40 sprayed onto each moving part and Snopper`s balls had never looked more pristine. So, all was set to create an impressive image for the imaginary gallery which he seems convinced are determined to follow him on his memorable exploits around the fairways of his mind.

Come the afternoon, Snopper reports in good time to the clubhouse, briefly consults his playing partner and between them they reach the executive decision that there is no way they are going to even attempt to set out on yet another ill fated journey in weather like that.

Snopper`s bitches