THANK GORD FOR THAT !!

With England beating Australia in the Rugby World Cup, our cricketers taking a 2-1 lead in the series against Sri Lanka and Southampton FC winning against West Brom, the last thing I needed to spoil the weekend was for Gordon Brown to call an Autumn General Election.

Can you imagine it? Weeks of political posturing, opinion polls coming out of our ears, nonentity would-be MPs making promises they have no hope of delivering, babies being kissed, non-stop coverage on tv, bookies offering odd odds and all the rest of the stuff that goes on during the hustings. Give me strength!

I guess, from that short litany of election- inspired events, that the most depressing of all would have been the tv coverage. Having lived through Peter Snow and his infernal swingometer I shudder at the thought of the hi-tech gizmos that would have been imposed upon us. And worst of all, the pundits. Those who find it impossible to keep their opinions to themselves. Remember Bob McKenzie and his mates?

Then there is the problem of who to vote for. The candidates - well, on or two of them - come round your house, asking whether you will vote for them in what is supposed to be a secret ballot. I tell each of them that they can rely on my vote and they go away happy and leave me in peace. And once the election is over, you never hear from them again. However, there is someone who caught my eye and who might just represent the rest of the self-serving chancers who inhabit the Westminster village:-

So, Gordon, a hearty sigh of relief that I won`t have to put up with election fever over the next few weeks. Just one snag, Gord - your decision can in no way be described (as you try to do) as being in the best interests of the country; just the best interests of the Labour Party and, most of all, yourself. And so you have shown yourself to be no different after all to your predecessor, but I shouldn`t be surprised - 10 years of spin, deceit and mendacity must be hard to shake off. Maybe, on second thoughts, I might have quite liked an election after all.

(click to enlarge - please!)