47 YEARS AGO YESTERDAY.....

.....I was celebrating my 21st birthday. In those days, the 21st was THE big birthday - the introduction of 18th birthday celebrations had not happened, so the 21st was the ultimate rite of passage. Well, for most, I guess it may have been.

For me, it was anything but. The reason? I was being detained at Her Majesty`s pleasure by doing my National Service with one of the country`s finest cavalry regiments - the 10th Royal Hussars, no less

And it just happened to be that my 21st birthday coincided with the annual tank manoevres which took place close to Schneverdingen on Luneburg Heath in northern Germany.

And it just happened to be that those in charge of the regiment thought it would be a good idea to assign me to the job of guarding the tank park overnight. (I always thought the idea was that the tanks were there to guard us, rather than the other way around.) I was convinced that my posting on guard that night was an act of deliberately evil intent on the part of the military, presumably thinking that such malevolence would teach me not to react in a way which would be "contrary to good order and military discipline."

Now, the army`s idea of how to effectively guard a regiment of tanks and other assorted armoured fighting vehicles was to equpip the person on guard with a wooden stick. So when, at about 3.00am in the middle of this teutonic wasteland night, a loud bang is heard emanating from said tank park, yours truly charges forth brandishing the wooden stick and shouting "How dare you interrupt my 21st birthday?"......or words to that effect.

Later I discovered that it was the work of an upstart subaltern who thought it would be a jolly jape to unsettle the guard by throwing a firecracker into the middle of the serried ranks of vehicles. I seriously doubt that the military careers of either of us were enhanced that night - he for being up so late and me for not really troubling myself too much to apprehend the culprit.

For all of that, however, I still retain some kind of warped affection for the regiment and a real friendship with some of the people with whom I was conscripted all those years ago. However, I did feel a slight sense of revenge when, in 1969, the 10th Royal Hussars were amalgamated with another regiment and so were no more.

And with each and every birthday that comes around, I think back to that long, dark night in that faraway wilderness on that pointless task and wonder whether I should sue the Government for the psychological damage I have suffered ever since for being denied my 21st birthday.