SING LITTLE BIRDIE

Yes, folks, tonight is the night we`ve all been waiting for, as the Eurovision Song Contest hits tv screens across the continent and beyond. I`m experiencing a day of mixed emotions, but one which is proving fortuitous in my personal attempts to avoid having to sit through what must surely be the most expensively pointless exercise since the invention of television.

Now, these are not sour grapes that the UK entries in recent years have come absolutely nowhere - indeed, there is a degree of credibility gained from achieving a score of nul points, which we managed a while back - but an acknowledgement of the fact that those countries silly enough to take the whole thing seriously enough to win it are then stuck with having to stage the following year`s contest. If we ever win it again (God forbid) the picture above would be the ideal venue.

And yet, I still remember when it was something of a novelty and a source of some pride to do well. Who can forget Pearl Carr and Teddy Johnson warbling `Sing Little Birdie` so tunefully in 1959 that the refrain stays with me even now?

Or the novelty of colour television when it first came in all those years ago? It seems to me that the Eurovision Song Contest is one of very few surviving programmes from those days - The Sky at Night may be another - and it really is time to move on, especially as it`s not a song contest anyway (if it were really so, then bring on Elton and Bernie) but more an excercise in neighbourliness.

We have a family wedding to attend this afternoon, followed by a reception this evening, which will mean that I will miss the Eurovision Song Contest......and never has a wedding reception been more welcome.