SNOPPER`S LEG BAFFLES MEDICS
from our Medical Correspondent

Thanks to Beverley the Osteopath, we can confidently report a significant improvement in Snopper`s mobility. However, there remains a mystery condition in the form of a nasty rash, which has broken out on his left leg, accompanied by tenderness and pain from waist to foot.

Snopper paid another visit to Nicole Kidman lookalike lady GP on Monday, as he was concerned that this unsightly and debilitating problem might have an adverse effect on his modelling career. The Doc was unsure of the diagnosis, having trawled the pages of Google in a vain attempt to track down the cause (I kid you not!) In the end, steroid cream and antihystemine was prescribed, which has been slavishly applied to the affected area, despite the temptation to bring the benefits of steroids to other parts of the anatomy.

If no improvement comes about in the next day or so, Snopper will take up NK lookalike`s suggestion of consulting with a more experienced GP in the same practice......always providing that an appointment can be made through the immigration control-type appointments system.

With a hectic diary of events in the festive season, including a planned visit to St. Mary`s Stadium, a crucial door repair job to undertake, car cleaning, painting, gardening and dispensing festive cheer to anyone within earshot, it is to be hoped that Snopper will be up to the task shortly.

Further bulletins may be issued in due course; then again, they may not be.